The bitch, otherwise known as my roommate, asked me to move out today. Shouldn't I be happy? Actually no, because she has proceeded to tell me what is wrong with me and when I tried discussing what she can do to stop making my life a living hell, she informed me that she has no faults. ??????
I'd sure like to know who is responsible for life's lessons because I'd like to slap them right now. Not only has my roommate belittled me and made me feel like I'm 2 feet tall, but I now have no confidence in myself and she makes me want to be a hotdog vender and throw the towel in on my current career path. I'm now everything I never used to be: bitter, emotional, weak, and depressed. I sure hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
The Big Decision
Wisconsinites, I apologize for leaving you hanging for so long. I've known for awhile what would happen, but like Andy said in the comments section, it wasn't official until last week. And while I was dying to spill to you lovely folks, it would be just my luck that a coworker would find some way to get through the firewall and stumble upon my/our secret.
The last couple of weeks have been a complete whirlwind.
Late August: I apply for a job in the university's research office, but I never heard anything. Turns out they put their search on hold for awhile.
Mid-September: A former boss of mine, who happens to be the head of the hiring committee, calls me and tells me that she's glad I applied.
Mid-October: I didn't realize it, but the hiring committee decides to start searching for a writer again.
Tuesday, Oct. 26: I have lunch with this former boss. The lunch turns into a mini-interview/recruiting session. At the end of lunch, I tell her that Andy's a candidate for a job in Wisconsin. By the end of the day, I had an interview lined up.
Wednesday, Nov. 7: Andy goes to Madtown for a two-day interview
Thursday, Nov. 8: Andy gets an offer from the Wisconsin Alumni Association
Friday, Nov. 9, 8 a.m.: I have interview with UNL's Office of Research
Friday, Nov. 9, 4 p.m.: I have an unofficial offer from the research office, pending the results of my background check and a meeting with the vice chancellor, who was in Hawaii.
Saturday, Nov. 10-Sunday, Nov. 11: The Washburns ponder where their lives are going.
Monday, Nov. 12: Andy tells the Nebraska Alumni Association that he has an offer from Wisconsin.
Tuesday, Nov. 13: The NAA offers Andy more money and more responsibilities if he stays. He accepts that offer. Then I accept my unofficial offer. Andy turns down Wisconsin.
Wednesday, Nov. 14-Sunday, Nov. 18-Agony! I can't tell anyone my good news, for fear that word would get around campus before I officially signed an offer letter.
Monday, Nov. 19-Meeting with the vice chancellor. He likes me. I sign the offer letter immediately. My bosses-to-be are sworn to secrecy that I signed the letter. For various reasons, I decided to wait until after Thanksgiving to resign from my current job.
23 hours later-A busybody secretary blows my cover. I talked to the secretary to set up a meeting with my boss for Nov. 29 or Nov. 30. She's too busy to meet, I'm told. What was this regarding? I try to sidestep the question, but after much pestering by Nosy Secretary, I cave and say it's confidential. Nosy Secretary immediately calls my boss, who calls me three minutes later. She asks what the meeting is about. I dance around the question again, saying it could really wait until next week, that I don't want to interrupt her vacation, blah, blah, blah. She asks me if I'm quitting. I respond that yes, yes I am.
Apparently "confidential meeting" has become code for "I'm quitting." You see, we've had a ridiculous amount of turnover in our office during the past 18 months. Why? There's really only two reasons why that many people leave an organization so quickly: threats of layoffs or an unhealthy environment. You can probably guess which reason applies to my situation.
I am very, very excited to start my new job. I am blown away by how NICE everybody is, regardless of their ranking in the food chain. It's known as one of the best places to work on campus, so I really lucked out. I was ready to leave my current job at the end of the semester even if it meant folding onesies at Baby Gap to pay for groceries. That's how much I dread going into work every day.
Now, to address the bigger question -- Why did we choose Nebraska over Wisconsin? A month ago, I was ready to pack our bags and come to Madtown. I was definitely daydreaming about what life would be like there. I really wanted to leave Lincoln behind and wipe the slate clean.
As things progressed on the job front, I stopped thinking about Madison as much. I never had a moment where reality set in and I said, "I can't move away!" I guess when it comes down to it, I realized that I wanted to improve my life here. The first and foremost thing was quitting my job and finding a new one. Now that I've changed that, I'm ready to start figuring out my priorities and planning my life accordingly.
For several years now, I've been doing a lot of things out of a sense of obligation rather than because I really want to. Now, there are some realities that can't be ignored -- I have to work, I have to pay bills, I have to cook, I have to get groceries, etc. However, I've wasted a lot of precious free time -- my time -- doing things I don't care about because it seems like "the right thing to do." Bah. My friends in their '30s tell me that around the magic age of 28-30, you start realizing that you have to start living life according to your wishes, not everyone else's. Message received. To quote Carrie Bradshaw, I'm ready to stop should-ing all over myself.
I'm making some progress. I'm not spending much time with friends that bring more stress than joy to my life. I've also quit a volunteer group that drained my energy rather than rejuvenated me. I decided to give myself a break and not teach or take classes next semester.
It's not just about cutting stuff out, though. I've become closer to people who I once considered fringe friends. And one of my top priorities for 2007 is finding a hobby or two that I can really be passionate about and use as my escape from everyday life. Because Andy's graduating and I won't be in school, I'm hoping we'll have more quality time together.
There you have it. I know I've written a novel, and if you've made it this far -- bless you. The last few months have been a major roller-coaster ride, but I'm super-excited about where everything is heading. I'm feeling very happy and optimistic these days.
The last couple of weeks have been a complete whirlwind.
Late August: I apply for a job in the university's research office, but I never heard anything. Turns out they put their search on hold for awhile.
Mid-September: A former boss of mine, who happens to be the head of the hiring committee, calls me and tells me that she's glad I applied.
Mid-October: I didn't realize it, but the hiring committee decides to start searching for a writer again.
Tuesday, Oct. 26: I have lunch with this former boss. The lunch turns into a mini-interview/recruiting session. At the end of lunch, I tell her that Andy's a candidate for a job in Wisconsin. By the end of the day, I had an interview lined up.
Wednesday, Nov. 7: Andy goes to Madtown for a two-day interview
Thursday, Nov. 8: Andy gets an offer from the Wisconsin Alumni Association
Friday, Nov. 9, 8 a.m.: I have interview with UNL's Office of Research
Friday, Nov. 9, 4 p.m.: I have an unofficial offer from the research office, pending the results of my background check and a meeting with the vice chancellor, who was in Hawaii.
Saturday, Nov. 10-Sunday, Nov. 11: The Washburns ponder where their lives are going.
Monday, Nov. 12: Andy tells the Nebraska Alumni Association that he has an offer from Wisconsin.
Tuesday, Nov. 13: The NAA offers Andy more money and more responsibilities if he stays. He accepts that offer. Then I accept my unofficial offer. Andy turns down Wisconsin.
Wednesday, Nov. 14-Sunday, Nov. 18-Agony! I can't tell anyone my good news, for fear that word would get around campus before I officially signed an offer letter.
Monday, Nov. 19-Meeting with the vice chancellor. He likes me. I sign the offer letter immediately. My bosses-to-be are sworn to secrecy that I signed the letter. For various reasons, I decided to wait until after Thanksgiving to resign from my current job.
23 hours later-A busybody secretary blows my cover. I talked to the secretary to set up a meeting with my boss for Nov. 29 or Nov. 30. She's too busy to meet, I'm told. What was this regarding? I try to sidestep the question, but after much pestering by Nosy Secretary, I cave and say it's confidential. Nosy Secretary immediately calls my boss, who calls me three minutes later. She asks what the meeting is about. I dance around the question again, saying it could really wait until next week, that I don't want to interrupt her vacation, blah, blah, blah. She asks me if I'm quitting. I respond that yes, yes I am.
Apparently "confidential meeting" has become code for "I'm quitting." You see, we've had a ridiculous amount of turnover in our office during the past 18 months. Why? There's really only two reasons why that many people leave an organization so quickly: threats of layoffs or an unhealthy environment. You can probably guess which reason applies to my situation.
I am very, very excited to start my new job. I am blown away by how NICE everybody is, regardless of their ranking in the food chain. It's known as one of the best places to work on campus, so I really lucked out. I was ready to leave my current job at the end of the semester even if it meant folding onesies at Baby Gap to pay for groceries. That's how much I dread going into work every day.
Now, to address the bigger question -- Why did we choose Nebraska over Wisconsin? A month ago, I was ready to pack our bags and come to Madtown. I was definitely daydreaming about what life would be like there. I really wanted to leave Lincoln behind and wipe the slate clean.
As things progressed on the job front, I stopped thinking about Madison as much. I never had a moment where reality set in and I said, "I can't move away!" I guess when it comes down to it, I realized that I wanted to improve my life here. The first and foremost thing was quitting my job and finding a new one. Now that I've changed that, I'm ready to start figuring out my priorities and planning my life accordingly.
For several years now, I've been doing a lot of things out of a sense of obligation rather than because I really want to. Now, there are some realities that can't be ignored -- I have to work, I have to pay bills, I have to cook, I have to get groceries, etc. However, I've wasted a lot of precious free time -- my time -- doing things I don't care about because it seems like "the right thing to do." Bah. My friends in their '30s tell me that around the magic age of 28-30, you start realizing that you have to start living life according to your wishes, not everyone else's. Message received. To quote Carrie Bradshaw, I'm ready to stop should-ing all over myself.
I'm making some progress. I'm not spending much time with friends that bring more stress than joy to my life. I've also quit a volunteer group that drained my energy rather than rejuvenated me. I decided to give myself a break and not teach or take classes next semester.
It's not just about cutting stuff out, though. I've become closer to people who I once considered fringe friends. And one of my top priorities for 2007 is finding a hobby or two that I can really be passionate about and use as my escape from everyday life. Because Andy's graduating and I won't be in school, I'm hoping we'll have more quality time together.
There you have it. I know I've written a novel, and if you've made it this far -- bless you. The last few months have been a major roller-coaster ride, but I'm super-excited about where everything is heading. I'm feeling very happy and optimistic these days.
Friday, November 23, 2007
need input
andy and ashley, i know you're job searching and such but i haven't heard any REAL updates lately. where are you looking? what positions are you considering? i absolutely WON'T be mad if you want to stay in lincoln, i'd just like to hear about some specifics. everyone here in wisconsin is pretty curious what's going on. why so mysterious?
hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving! i recommend going to see August Rush.
hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving! i recommend going to see August Rush.
Monday, November 19, 2007
bogus bachelor
did any of you watch the season finale of the bachelor just now? ...pretty sure it ruins my thoughts on love and relationships. they only knew each other for less than 2 months. how could he possibly go from wanting both of them to giving up on both? he didn't have to propose. and let's be honest - he couldn't have gotten to know their true selves enough in that context. but to quit? weak. and i feel like i wasted my life the past several weeks watching that. he deserves to be alone.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
I'm Proud of My Siblings
You all pretty much kick ass.
I'll let each of you share the details, but Ash is having a great week, Hayley rocked a few exams, Cole rocked something for golder harvest and Lindzo did some good stuff in school.
Brag.
I'll let each of you share the details, but Ash is having a great week, Hayley rocked a few exams, Cole rocked something for golder harvest and Lindzo did some good stuff in school.
Brag.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
OK, Mad-town folk
Looks like I have a full day tomorrow. I leave my door at 4 am to drive to Omaha and hop on a plane. In Madison at 11 am, and from there, I'm meeting with folks all day until 4:30. Then I have a break until 6 and have dinner with some university VP. I am guessing that will be over at 7:30 or so, so any time after that. Though I have to be honest, after that day, I'm not ging to be able to take a long visit, but I still want to catch up with you all nonetheless. I want to hear soem Paul-itical opinions, see how Mary's quest for the location of Season 1 of scrubs is progressing, and head about Julie's wild adventures on State Street hanging out with a bunch of 30+ old guys earlier this fall.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
November Blues
The past two weeks, and the week to come, have been probably the most draining weeks of my life. I've had four tests and one project, and one intense paper due within this time period. Being the good student that I am, I've been trying to work ahead as much as possible, but this isn't working anymore.
Currently, I live in the library in the old hospital in Scottsbluff. I must describe the library for you in order for you to understand how hard it is for me to be here for eight hours a day. The old hospital is a place for family members to stay while their loved ones are at the new hospital down the road. It looks like a mental asylum and I think it's haunted. There are cute little old ladies that have to give me the key to the library (because it is constantly on lockdown-newsflash: ghosts can still get in!) I can tell when one of the library ladies is lurking nearby because they have a cloud of musty perfume that radiates 10 feet around them. The actual library is in the old chapel, so I not only get to study and be quiet, but I can go up to the alter and ask God again what the heck I'm doing with my life.
Part of the reason I've been cooped up in the library is for reasons other than homework. My current roommate hates me. Before she would fake nice behaviors and talk mean behind my back. This was fun and all, but she's now decided to ignore me and pretend that I don't exist. My cute little green house has now turned into a box of hate and hostility. This isn't great for studying....or sleeping for that matter. I'd sleep overnight in the library, but I'm not sure if the library lady will let me borrow her kitchen utensils.
My next problem is my test taking skills, or lack thereof. I have always had a hard time with tests. But, the experience I had this week takes the cake. I studied super hard for my Nursing Assessment and Promotion test. I made flashcards from my notes, the book, I read all the chapters in the book, and I made notes from my notes. Needless to say, I was prepared. The test was moderately challenging, but here's where I went wrong. While rechecking my answers I did what no student should ever do....I CHANGED A BUNCH OF ANSWERS! How stupid could I be? I mean, would I really be smarter 40 questions later...no! This resulted in me failing, bawling, swearing I will be a t-shirt vender in NY, and be the black sheep of the Anderson family. I've calmed down a bit, but my test anxiety has mulitplied 10 times.
I finally have broke down and will be using money I don't have to get a massage this week. My muscles have become so tight because of my stress, lack of sleep, and fear of being stabbed in my sleep, that I decided I better get all the toxins rubbed out. I also get to go home this coming weekend and I'm SUPER pumped. I hope you all have a great week!
Currently, I live in the library in the old hospital in Scottsbluff. I must describe the library for you in order for you to understand how hard it is for me to be here for eight hours a day. The old hospital is a place for family members to stay while their loved ones are at the new hospital down the road. It looks like a mental asylum and I think it's haunted. There are cute little old ladies that have to give me the key to the library (because it is constantly on lockdown-newsflash: ghosts can still get in!) I can tell when one of the library ladies is lurking nearby because they have a cloud of musty perfume that radiates 10 feet around them. The actual library is in the old chapel, so I not only get to study and be quiet, but I can go up to the alter and ask God again what the heck I'm doing with my life.
Part of the reason I've been cooped up in the library is for reasons other than homework. My current roommate hates me. Before she would fake nice behaviors and talk mean behind my back. This was fun and all, but she's now decided to ignore me and pretend that I don't exist. My cute little green house has now turned into a box of hate and hostility. This isn't great for studying....or sleeping for that matter. I'd sleep overnight in the library, but I'm not sure if the library lady will let me borrow her kitchen utensils.
My next problem is my test taking skills, or lack thereof. I have always had a hard time with tests. But, the experience I had this week takes the cake. I studied super hard for my Nursing Assessment and Promotion test. I made flashcards from my notes, the book, I read all the chapters in the book, and I made notes from my notes. Needless to say, I was prepared. The test was moderately challenging, but here's where I went wrong. While rechecking my answers I did what no student should ever do....I CHANGED A BUNCH OF ANSWERS! How stupid could I be? I mean, would I really be smarter 40 questions later...no! This resulted in me failing, bawling, swearing I will be a t-shirt vender in NY, and be the black sheep of the Anderson family. I've calmed down a bit, but my test anxiety has mulitplied 10 times.
I finally have broke down and will be using money I don't have to get a massage this week. My muscles have become so tight because of my stress, lack of sleep, and fear of being stabbed in my sleep, that I decided I better get all the toxins rubbed out. I also get to go home this coming weekend and I'm SUPER pumped. I hope you all have a great week!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Facebook woes
I've been punished for Facebook stalking.
Sometimes I hate that it's this stupid maze that reminds you that you're still connected to people you haven't thought about in 10 years.
My News Feed announced today that my high school friend Ryan added pictures. Curious, I clicked on Ryan's profile. Then I saw his cousin Jill, one of our classmates, had written on his wall. Even though I've thought of Jill probably three times since graduation, my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on her profile. Then I got even more curious and clicked on her Centennial High School '98 link. Lo and behold, Jill's twin, Michelle, Jeremy, Shauna, Kiley, Carolyn, Kirk and a bunch of other random folks are Jill's "friends."
My reaction? THOSE BASTARDS! Surely they can see I'm on Facebook, why didn't they add ME? I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU, TOO, YOU KNOW! I know, I know. I am being ridiculous. I didn't even like those people, but seeing that my classmates are friends with each other but not with me stirs up all those stupid feelings of not fitting in with them and every single goddamnthingifuckinghatedaboutthatplace. It's junk I haven't thought about in ages.
I could add them as friends, but why? To pad my friends list? I hadn't thought of them until now, and I'm sure they've forgotten me. I don't want their friendship, so why give them a glimpse into what my life is like now? (Thank you, privacy settings.) I don't know how you young'uns handle the Facebook thing. Do you find that it makes it impossible to untangle yourself from parts of the past you'd rather forget?
Sometimes I hate that it's this stupid maze that reminds you that you're still connected to people you haven't thought about in 10 years.
My News Feed announced today that my high school friend Ryan added pictures. Curious, I clicked on Ryan's profile. Then I saw his cousin Jill, one of our classmates, had written on his wall. Even though I've thought of Jill probably three times since graduation, my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on her profile. Then I got even more curious and clicked on her Centennial High School '98 link. Lo and behold, Jill's twin, Michelle, Jeremy, Shauna, Kiley, Carolyn, Kirk and a bunch of other random folks are Jill's "friends."
My reaction? THOSE BASTARDS! Surely they can see I'm on Facebook, why didn't they add ME? I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU, TOO, YOU KNOW! I know, I know. I am being ridiculous. I didn't even like those people, but seeing that my classmates are friends with each other but not with me stirs up all those stupid feelings of not fitting in with them and every single goddamnthingifuckinghatedaboutthatplace. It's junk I haven't thought about in ages.
I could add them as friends, but why? To pad my friends list? I hadn't thought of them until now, and I'm sure they've forgotten me. I don't want their friendship, so why give them a glimpse into what my life is like now? (Thank you, privacy settings.) I don't know how you young'uns handle the Facebook thing. Do you find that it makes it impossible to untangle yourself from parts of the past you'd rather forget?
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