- Every wonder why you can't sneeze and pee at the same time? Smoething tells your brain to stop peeing because you have to sneeze.
- The cat has the squirts. Of course, if yo ugave me nothign but the eqivalent of fish and beef flavored oat bran for three meals a day, my bowels would be cranky too.
- I dont' know why this is so funny, but I laughed my ass off at this. it is an angry german kid waiting for his computer to load a video game. http://www.break.com/index/angry_german_kid_with_subtitles.html
- New band: The Audition. Check them out.
- Hayley -- what night do you want me to come over and hammer your picture hangers and looksie at your computer and so Ash can swim again?
- Lindzo -- what si the model number of the computer you are looking at?
- Cole -- ah, who am I kidding. Cole doesn't read this.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Enough heavy stuff. Stupid monday musings:
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Well, I feel like this is the 10th time I've written this all down because stupid cousin central kept freezing every time I tried to post. Anyway, here's the abridged version.
Long story short, I feel a lot of responsibility in our family. As the oldest in the Nebraska-Wisconsin branches, I know that I have recently experienced and felt a lot of the things you are all going through or will in the next 10 years. I had a lot of not-so-hot emotional times (even if I keep it inside) and this whole college-to-real-world adventure we call life can really get off track fast.
I nearly made some mistakes that would have changed my entire life -- and I don't want you kids depressed or sad or emotionally unstable because your parents couldn't talk to you in your own terms.
What I'm getting at is that I want you all to still make mistakes and learn from them -- but with the proper mindset that will save you a lot of sleepless nights and get you through to the next steps with your mental health and happiness intact.
So this novel has two parts. Chapter 1 is Happiness. Chapter 2 is choices and destiny. Chapter 1 today.
I've been thinking a lot about choices, destiny, and the like. See, two things sparked this all -- one was an e-mail from an old college classmate that hit it big, and the other was my 10 year reunion.
You see, the old college classmate is now a marketing vice president at Verizon and has been in national commercials, been moved four times and is pulling down crazy awesome money. But for as well as she is doing, the only thing she can talk about is how sad and lonely she is to not have any friends, no man and be working 12-hour, 6-week days. She is the definition of what they tell you you can achieve in college if you work your butt off. That's the set up. See, I regularly kicked her ass in assignments and when we competed directly for clients in some advertising classes, my team was 4-1 against hers. So it makes me wonder could I have been her -- which further got me to thinking. Would I even want to be her?
The second step was the opposite direction of a gal at my 10-year reunion that was absolutely brilliant and gave up a promising academic career to marry young and be a stay-at-home mom. She had the same problem though -- regret. Regret that she gave up her career and may never get back into the field she studied. She was not happy either.
See, I've been thinking "is the grass always greener for some folks?" How do you know what success is and when you know if you've "made it?" Well, what I have come to realize is that there is no universal definition. The New York executive and the young mother have it all in completely different ways, but neither of them is happy.
Where am I going with all of this? Well, if you know me, I have always tried to define myself in my own terms and not by comparison or contrast. It breaks my heart to see people with lives that others would kill for, only to not be happy.
So I think I have reflected plenty on this in the last two weeks and concluded that success is really a mindset and an internal definition, not how others define you.
I have an awesome wife, a job I love most of the time, I get to see family and friends all of the time and I have my colleague's respect at work and in my profession. So what if I'm making a fraction of other classmates that I know I was better than. I have something far more valuable. I have found my definition of success, and I'm completely happy with who I am and my place in this world. They have money and families because somebody told them that was what success is. But since that was not their own definition, they still long for other things.
Here's where this comes full circle from what I posted to Lindsay a few weeks back....
When you have a 10-year reunion, it's easy to start playing the compare and impress game. But my 10-year reunion was nothing like. Most of us there were just happy to hook up again, and there wasn't the "I’m better than you" show that we had at the 5 year. Maybe there is an enlightenment that happens around age 28. If there is a midlife and quarter life crisis of identity, perhaps 28-ish is the grand enlightenment of self-realization
So to you youngins, let me tell you that it does get better. The uncertainty melts away, you finally discover your true self and the things that make you happy. You find your new sense of a home and to be happy, you need to find your own definition of success and pursue that -- not the definition that society, professors, parents or classmates throw on you -- or you will never feel that happiness.
For me, the simplest definition I have found for success is "knowing that one person out there sleeps better at night because you are alive." That right there, combined with the mentality to not compare myself to others has completely changed my life.
Long story short, I feel a lot of responsibility in our family. As the oldest in the Nebraska-Wisconsin branches, I know that I have recently experienced and felt a lot of the things you are all going through or will in the next 10 years. I had a lot of not-so-hot emotional times (even if I keep it inside) and this whole college-to-real-world adventure we call life can really get off track fast.
I nearly made some mistakes that would have changed my entire life -- and I don't want you kids depressed or sad or emotionally unstable because your parents couldn't talk to you in your own terms.
What I'm getting at is that I want you all to still make mistakes and learn from them -- but with the proper mindset that will save you a lot of sleepless nights and get you through to the next steps with your mental health and happiness intact.
So this novel has two parts. Chapter 1 is Happiness. Chapter 2 is choices and destiny. Chapter 1 today.
I've been thinking a lot about choices, destiny, and the like. See, two things sparked this all -- one was an e-mail from an old college classmate that hit it big, and the other was my 10 year reunion.
You see, the old college classmate is now a marketing vice president at Verizon and has been in national commercials, been moved four times and is pulling down crazy awesome money. But for as well as she is doing, the only thing she can talk about is how sad and lonely she is to not have any friends, no man and be working 12-hour, 6-week days. She is the definition of what they tell you you can achieve in college if you work your butt off. That's the set up. See, I regularly kicked her ass in assignments and when we competed directly for clients in some advertising classes, my team was 4-1 against hers. So it makes me wonder could I have been her -- which further got me to thinking. Would I even want to be her?
The second step was the opposite direction of a gal at my 10-year reunion that was absolutely brilliant and gave up a promising academic career to marry young and be a stay-at-home mom. She had the same problem though -- regret. Regret that she gave up her career and may never get back into the field she studied. She was not happy either.
See, I've been thinking "is the grass always greener for some folks?" How do you know what success is and when you know if you've "made it?" Well, what I have come to realize is that there is no universal definition. The New York executive and the young mother have it all in completely different ways, but neither of them is happy.
Where am I going with all of this? Well, if you know me, I have always tried to define myself in my own terms and not by comparison or contrast. It breaks my heart to see people with lives that others would kill for, only to not be happy.
So I think I have reflected plenty on this in the last two weeks and concluded that success is really a mindset and an internal definition, not how others define you.
I have an awesome wife, a job I love most of the time, I get to see family and friends all of the time and I have my colleague's respect at work and in my profession. So what if I'm making a fraction of other classmates that I know I was better than. I have something far more valuable. I have found my definition of success, and I'm completely happy with who I am and my place in this world. They have money and families because somebody told them that was what success is. But since that was not their own definition, they still long for other things.
Here's where this comes full circle from what I posted to Lindsay a few weeks back....
When you have a 10-year reunion, it's easy to start playing the compare and impress game. But my 10-year reunion was nothing like. Most of us there were just happy to hook up again, and there wasn't the "I’m better than you" show that we had at the 5 year. Maybe there is an enlightenment that happens around age 28. If there is a midlife and quarter life crisis of identity, perhaps 28-ish is the grand enlightenment of self-realization
So to you youngins, let me tell you that it does get better. The uncertainty melts away, you finally discover your true self and the things that make you happy. You find your new sense of a home and to be happy, you need to find your own definition of success and pursue that -- not the definition that society, professors, parents or classmates throw on you -- or you will never feel that happiness.
For me, the simplest definition I have found for success is "knowing that one person out there sleeps better at night because you are alive." That right there, combined with the mentality to not compare myself to others has completely changed my life.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Friday, July 21, 2006
This girl should do stand-up comedy
Our darling Lindsey sent us a homemade anniversary card that brought tears to my eyes ... from laughing, that is.
The front had this lovely message: I hope your love lingers on ...
And the inside said: Like a big smelly FART! Happy Anniversary! Love, Linzo
Copyright 2006 by Arts Farts
Big props to you, sister dear. I was in a foul mood when I got home from work yesterday, but that cheered me up instantly.
Our darling Lindsey sent us a homemade anniversary card that brought tears to my eyes ... from laughing, that is.
The front had this lovely message: I hope your love lingers on ...
And the inside said: Like a big smelly FART! Happy Anniversary! Love, Linzo
Copyright 2006 by Arts Farts
Big props to you, sister dear. I was in a foul mood when I got home from work yesterday, but that cheered me up instantly.
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
I've had quite an eventful week thus far, and I just thought I'd share it with you all because I haven't written a blog for a long time.
So last night was my friend Chase's 22nd birthday. (He's the one that is in seminary to become a priest by the way.) I wanted him to have a good birthday so I invited him over and I was planning to make him a surprise supper. My roommate Shannon was my special helper too. So after my class in the afternoon I rushed home to play Betty Crocker before work. I wanted to make Chase a delicious chocolate-cherry two tier cake. So I mixed up my batter and popped it in my pans and let it do it's thing. Well, when they were finally done, I was pressed for time because I had to be to work in half an hour and it takes me about fifteen to get there. Anyway I went to dump cake tier #1 out and it crumbled into a hot, gooey chocolate-cherry mess. I was frazzled but decided it would be okay and I'd just have one little round cake instead. (The rest is in the freezer waiting to be used with ice cream or something.) So when I got back from work I grilled some lemon pepper chicken. This was risky because I've only grilled one other time so I was nervous. But it turned out great! We melted mozzerella cheese on top and served it on a bed of fetticini alfreado and had peas and a tossed salad on the side. All in all it was a great meal. Afterwards we were all talking and not to my surprise we all discovered that our lives are going in directions that we are unsure of or aren't aware of yet. I do feel bad for Chase though because his life decision is much more complex than Shannon and mine's are. He's not sure if seminary is what he wants to do and so in a matter of four hours we managed to consule each other and have a great birthday. Now stop Ashley and Andy. I know what you're thinking. I made him a special supper FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ONLY. And NO HE ISN'T GOING TO LEAVE THE SEMINARY FOR ME.
Today I took my first essay form test since high school. I was so nervous about it that I woke up at 6:00 this morning and studied and did practice tests until my class started at 1:00 this afternoon. That's pretty hard core. But I think I can see why people like essay tests better. At least you can get partial credit unlike all the stupid bubble-tests I take that it is either right or wrong. Anyway I hope it went well especially after all the hard work I put in.
The last thing I have to say is probably trivial but it has been building inside of me and I'd like to get it out. I really enjoy my job as a whole. Physical therapy isn't my alley exactly, but it is still interesting. Well one of my bosses is continuously cranky and basically tells people how much she hates to work. I find this funny because she has to be making quite a nice bit of dough, but from what I can evaluate I don't think she's at a happy time in her life. Sad day for her. But I worked over 12 hours this weekend at the Cornhusker State Games, which is an amateur sporting event that takes place once a year in Lincoln. Well I got volunteered by my boss to work as "medical personnel" at the youth baseball and open swimming events. I got excited until after I'd worked those 12 hours to only sit out in the 90+ degree heat and making only two ice bags. I mean I'm sure my time was appreciated but I felt that my weekend could've been spent doing something more productive. Anyway my boss that volunteered me has yet to mention or thank me for my efforts. I don't expect to get a thank you, but she hasn't once showed any sort of liking towards me. I'm starting to think I'm a bad person or something. Anyway, that is my gripe for the day.
So last night was my friend Chase's 22nd birthday. (He's the one that is in seminary to become a priest by the way.) I wanted him to have a good birthday so I invited him over and I was planning to make him a surprise supper. My roommate Shannon was my special helper too. So after my class in the afternoon I rushed home to play Betty Crocker before work. I wanted to make Chase a delicious chocolate-cherry two tier cake. So I mixed up my batter and popped it in my pans and let it do it's thing. Well, when they were finally done, I was pressed for time because I had to be to work in half an hour and it takes me about fifteen to get there. Anyway I went to dump cake tier #1 out and it crumbled into a hot, gooey chocolate-cherry mess. I was frazzled but decided it would be okay and I'd just have one little round cake instead. (The rest is in the freezer waiting to be used with ice cream or something.) So when I got back from work I grilled some lemon pepper chicken. This was risky because I've only grilled one other time so I was nervous. But it turned out great! We melted mozzerella cheese on top and served it on a bed of fetticini alfreado and had peas and a tossed salad on the side. All in all it was a great meal. Afterwards we were all talking and not to my surprise we all discovered that our lives are going in directions that we are unsure of or aren't aware of yet. I do feel bad for Chase though because his life decision is much more complex than Shannon and mine's are. He's not sure if seminary is what he wants to do and so in a matter of four hours we managed to consule each other and have a great birthday. Now stop Ashley and Andy. I know what you're thinking. I made him a special supper FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ONLY. And NO HE ISN'T GOING TO LEAVE THE SEMINARY FOR ME.
Today I took my first essay form test since high school. I was so nervous about it that I woke up at 6:00 this morning and studied and did practice tests until my class started at 1:00 this afternoon. That's pretty hard core. But I think I can see why people like essay tests better. At least you can get partial credit unlike all the stupid bubble-tests I take that it is either right or wrong. Anyway I hope it went well especially after all the hard work I put in.
The last thing I have to say is probably trivial but it has been building inside of me and I'd like to get it out. I really enjoy my job as a whole. Physical therapy isn't my alley exactly, but it is still interesting. Well one of my bosses is continuously cranky and basically tells people how much she hates to work. I find this funny because she has to be making quite a nice bit of dough, but from what I can evaluate I don't think she's at a happy time in her life. Sad day for her. But I worked over 12 hours this weekend at the Cornhusker State Games, which is an amateur sporting event that takes place once a year in Lincoln. Well I got volunteered by my boss to work as "medical personnel" at the youth baseball and open swimming events. I got excited until after I'd worked those 12 hours to only sit out in the 90+ degree heat and making only two ice bags. I mean I'm sure my time was appreciated but I felt that my weekend could've been spent doing something more productive. Anyway my boss that volunteered me has yet to mention or thank me for my efforts. I don't expect to get a thank you, but she hasn't once showed any sort of liking towards me. I'm starting to think I'm a bad person or something. Anyway, that is my gripe for the day.
So --
I wrote another novel on Monday and then a faulty internet connection erased my masterpiece and I don't want to really rehash that all right now. So apologies for no monday musings. To make it up for you, please sheck out the song "the alamo is no place for dancing" by the Scene Aesthetic: http://www.purevolume.com/thesceneaesthetic
That and I have a mosquito bite on my cheek.
I wrote another novel on Monday and then a faulty internet connection erased my masterpiece and I don't want to really rehash that all right now. So apologies for no monday musings. To make it up for you, please sheck out the song "the alamo is no place for dancing" by the Scene Aesthetic: http://www.purevolume.com/thesceneaesthetic
That and I have a mosquito bite on my cheek.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
Why I'm never marrying a surgeon...
Mary left shortly after 2am this morning because of (what I presume) was a call to watch the liver transplant. Now, as she left in a short time, she failed to shut off her alarm. So at 5am I was woken from my dream (in which a ringing alarm fit into the setting) and had to get out of bed to shut it off. After 10 minutes of continuously sitting up then collapsing back into my pillow, I accepted defeat and got up for the day.
I made myself some ego wheat waffles that I topped with chocolate chips. While eating, I played domestic housewife and began busying myself around the kitchen. I made pumpkin bread. Then cut up the head of cauliflower (because it inevitably goes bad as even I am too lazy to cut vegetables when I'm really hungry). After I brush teeth, I'll probably do a little vacuuming then file away my finance papers I didn't get to last night.
Then I'll leave early for work so I can return Mary's library books, buy a sailing book, return my library books, and exchange the cracked juice pitcher at Target. All the while I will be praying my girls have mercy on this tired soul today - 9.5 hours with them yesterday almost did me over. I resorted to having them play a game in which the goal was to fall asleep first. No one won, but that was only because I couldn't play. Because if I played, I would refuse to wake up. Because yesterday I also had an initial 5am wakeup. Only since today I actually got up then, I know it's going to be a long day for as long as I stay awake...
Mary left shortly after 2am this morning because of (what I presume) was a call to watch the liver transplant. Now, as she left in a short time, she failed to shut off her alarm. So at 5am I was woken from my dream (in which a ringing alarm fit into the setting) and had to get out of bed to shut it off. After 10 minutes of continuously sitting up then collapsing back into my pillow, I accepted defeat and got up for the day.
I made myself some ego wheat waffles that I topped with chocolate chips. While eating, I played domestic housewife and began busying myself around the kitchen. I made pumpkin bread. Then cut up the head of cauliflower (because it inevitably goes bad as even I am too lazy to cut vegetables when I'm really hungry). After I brush teeth, I'll probably do a little vacuuming then file away my finance papers I didn't get to last night.
Then I'll leave early for work so I can return Mary's library books, buy a sailing book, return my library books, and exchange the cracked juice pitcher at Target. All the while I will be praying my girls have mercy on this tired soul today - 9.5 hours with them yesterday almost did me over. I resorted to having them play a game in which the goal was to fall asleep first. No one won, but that was only because I couldn't play. Because if I played, I would refuse to wake up. Because yesterday I also had an initial 5am wakeup. Only since today I actually got up then, I know it's going to be a long day for as long as I stay awake...
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Andy is out of town this week, so Monday musings are on hiatus. His absence means:
- I’m eating strange meals and watching Friends during supper.
- I’ve watched The Devil Wears Prada and two Sex and the City episodes … and it’s only Tuesday morning. :)
- I’m taking the final step in the lengthy process of transforming the hallway bathroom from Homage to the Early ‘90s to modern chic: painting the vanity and medicine cabinet white. So far, I’ve sanded everything, removed the doors and hinges, and put on the first coat of primer.
- Unfinished projects make me uneasy, especially in areas that are supposed to be my sanctuary, so I moved my grooming products into Andy’s bathroom for a few days. His shower, which normally contains a bar of Irish Spring, a bottle of shampoo, and a body wash (for really special occasions), is now littered with potions that have names like mango mandarin, raspberry almond, and green tea & ginger. Heh. It’s funny to see signs of femininity in a room that’s decidedly male.
- I’ve been journaling a lot. It’s good for my mental health; I need to do this more often.
I miss Andy. But once in awhile, it’s good to remind myself that I’m capable of unhinging doors and using power tools without help. And sometimes, it’s good for a couple to spend a week or two apart. The separation tends to make you feel like you’re falling in love all over again. The absence of our daily routine makes me appreciate our little rituals even more. To an outsider, I’m sure they seem boring and mundane. But to us, they’re evidence of the life we’ve chosen together. That’s your awwwww moment of the day.
Besides, I’m sure Andy is looking forward to nightly burrito and fish buffets when I’m in Nashville later this month.
- I’m eating strange meals and watching Friends during supper.
- I’ve watched The Devil Wears Prada and two Sex and the City episodes … and it’s only Tuesday morning. :)
- I’m taking the final step in the lengthy process of transforming the hallway bathroom from Homage to the Early ‘90s to modern chic: painting the vanity and medicine cabinet white. So far, I’ve sanded everything, removed the doors and hinges, and put on the first coat of primer.
- Unfinished projects make me uneasy, especially in areas that are supposed to be my sanctuary, so I moved my grooming products into Andy’s bathroom for a few days. His shower, which normally contains a bar of Irish Spring, a bottle of shampoo, and a body wash (for really special occasions), is now littered with potions that have names like mango mandarin, raspberry almond, and green tea & ginger. Heh. It’s funny to see signs of femininity in a room that’s decidedly male.
- I’ve been journaling a lot. It’s good for my mental health; I need to do this more often.
I miss Andy. But once in awhile, it’s good to remind myself that I’m capable of unhinging doors and using power tools without help. And sometimes, it’s good for a couple to spend a week or two apart. The separation tends to make you feel like you’re falling in love all over again. The absence of our daily routine makes me appreciate our little rituals even more. To an outsider, I’m sure they seem boring and mundane. But to us, they’re evidence of the life we’ve chosen together. That’s your awwwww moment of the day.
Besides, I’m sure Andy is looking forward to nightly burrito and fish buffets when I’m in Nashville later this month.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
The return of Monday Musings:
- I know it's Wednesday, but after the holiday, it feels like a Monday. Back off.
- Cole is single. And happy again might I add. She broke it off with him, but he comes out brilliantly. He didn't have to hurt her by being the jerk, he is out of a bad relationship, and as chipper as I've seen him in a long time. It sucks to lose your first love, but it is good to quit before you've put multiple years' time and emotion into it.
- Talk about following my own piece of advice -- I get an e-mail today from a fellow classmate and intern. She is massively successful and at 27 is a vice-president at Verizon and has a staff of 40, and was in a national commercial that is starting to air. Very hard not to compare myself to her, especially since I regularly kicked her ass in classes and on projects. She's making big bucks and is living just outside NYC. But I also detect some loneliness and sadness in her e-mail. Even though she has much success and money, I still consider myself much wealthier -- just in different ways and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
- Saw a cat brawl this morning. Cool.
- Emerging markets look to be where it will be as long as commodity prices stay high. I'm a little puzzled why the energy markets have not rallied despite the gas price spike.
- I like the smell of fireworks. Nothing like celebrating America by blowing a part of it up with Chinese technology.
- The North Koreans are crazy.
- Am I the only one that thinks this Ken Lay thing was suicide. You suddenly have a heart attack right before you are supposed to start serving life in prison?
- Wisconsin cousins, when Hayley turns 21, get ready to host us up there. Maybe fall of 2007?
Monday, July 03, 2006
First to direct a comment toward Andy's post - I find it unnecessary to add my opinions to topics that appear to belong only in the Nebraska circle. Some postings simply don't apply to me at all and I usually don't have any replies that contribute to the purpose of a given post. Unless I get more background for some things, they will probably remain Nebraska-only.
As for Paul - he's working back home and the dialup internet connection honestly can't handle this site well.
And a summary of what I've been up to lately:.. I'm still nannying for two girls during the week. They're so much better this year than last. We've had a lot of fun every day but maybe two so far, but those were because their parents kept them up to late over a weekend.
I sail whenever I have a free few hours. This past weekend I earned three more ratings (a rating allows you to take a given boat out in either light or heavy winds, depending on the level tested at). So I now have unlimited access to three boat fleets and the longboard windsurfers in the club. My body still hurts from 6 hours in 25 mph wind on Saturday, but it was so much fun I don't care. Plus, the latest boat I got rated on can hold 6 people, so now I can take out friends (and family) whenever I want for a little joy riding (did I mention it has room for coolers too?).
Then I used my club connections to get Mary and I a ride on one of the keelboats last night, that we sailed across the lake to watch the big "Rhythm and Booms" firework show with orchestra. Aside from the fact that we didn't get back to shore until after 1, it was an awesome evening.
As for Paul - he's working back home and the dialup internet connection honestly can't handle this site well.
And a summary of what I've been up to lately:.. I'm still nannying for two girls during the week. They're so much better this year than last. We've had a lot of fun every day but maybe two so far, but those were because their parents kept them up to late over a weekend.
I sail whenever I have a free few hours. This past weekend I earned three more ratings (a rating allows you to take a given boat out in either light or heavy winds, depending on the level tested at). So I now have unlimited access to three boat fleets and the longboard windsurfers in the club. My body still hurts from 6 hours in 25 mph wind on Saturday, but it was so much fun I don't care. Plus, the latest boat I got rated on can hold 6 people, so now I can take out friends (and family) whenever I want for a little joy riding (did I mention it has room for coolers too?).
Then I used my club connections to get Mary and I a ride on one of the keelboats last night, that we sailed across the lake to watch the big "Rhythm and Booms" firework show with orchestra. Aside from the fact that we didn't get back to shore until after 1, it was an awesome evening.
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