I learned a new word today, courtesy of the Washington Post: idolspize.

To “idolspize” means to admire, yet secretly despise, a person. The people we idolspize often have the same major or occupation, belong to our social circle, and lead lives as mundane as our own. Yet, because of their beauty, talent, or luck, we can’t control the green-eyed monster inside us when they’re around.

Why? Because the person you idolspize is just like you, but better.

Meet Michelle. Michelle and I are both 25 and graduated from UNL in 2002. I have a degree in journalism; she has bachelor’s degrees in English and political science. After college, I spent three years working my tail off to understand Nebraska laws and politics. She was brilliant enough to land a job in Washington, D.C., with a congressman who is a legit contender for president in 2008. After working for him, she earned a master’s degree in comparative politics from Canada’s most prestigious liberal arts school. She graduated with honors both times.

People with journalism degrees think English majors are second-rate writers. When Michelle asked to meet with me to discuss a project I was working on, I was feeling smug until I listened to her ideas. Then I was embarrassed I hadn’t thought of them myself.

Although she’s young, Michelle commands respect. She’s confident enough to tell a difficult professor, “No, we’re going to do it my way,” and they listen. I’m tall, but she’s 6’0” barefoot, and still wears 3-inch heels. She finds funky ways to wear normal clothing and manages to look like a fashion icon; I’d pay good money for a fashion coach. Her favorite book is Pride and Prejudice; I’ve started it five times and have never read beyond Chapter 3.

Could I realize my potential (i.e. be more like her) if I worked harder, got a master’s degree and read the classics instead of The Nanny Diaries?

The idolspize concept makes sense to me. I don’t know anyone who is truly jealous of a celebrity. But I every woman I know is jealous of someone in her class, her volunteer group, her church, or even one of her friends. How do we handle spending time with someone whose fabulousness reminds us of our shortcomings?

I think the answer lies somewhere between self-improvement and self-acceptance. In my case, I need to become more confident and assertive, especially at work. I need to accept that I will never have slim thighs or be the person in the room to whom everyone gravitates.

What do you think? Who do you idolspize?

Read the original article at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2006/02/21/AR2006022101862.html