I applied for grad school this morning. I haven't applied to a specific program yet; I just submitted an application so I can take classes if I want.

I'm scared s*&tless. Now that I've been out of school four years, I don't miss taking tests, writing papers, and studying. My priorities have changed a lot since graduation. Do I even have the ability to buckle down and study anymore? What happens when I get a -5,872 on the GRE because I haven't taken a math class since 1998? Could I get kicked out?

I wouldn't be considering grad school if I worked for a mainstream journalism outlet. Journalists and P.R. people tend to believe that real learning happens on the job, and people with advanced degrees use education credentials to hide behind the fact that they're not very talented. In the communications field, there is some sad truth to that statement.

Here's the dilemma, kittens. I have chosen to make a career out of working for the public sector. Government- and university-types love advanced degrees. It's difficult to advance without "M-something" or "Ph.D" behind your name. I'm not arrogant enough to believe I have nothing to learn, but I believe the skills I need to improve are best learned through experience, not studying a theory from some textbook. Am I selling out by doing something I'm not enthusiastic about, or am I being smart and realistic?

Who knows, maybe I'll love being a student again. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.