Enough heavy stuff. Stupid monday musings:

• Every wonder why you can't sneeze and pee at the same time? Smoething tells your brain to stop peeing because you have to sneeze.
• The cat has the squirts. Of course, if yo ugave me nothign but the eqivalent of fish and beef flavored oat bran for three meals a day, my bowels would be cranky too.
• I dont' know why this is so funny, but I laughed my ass off at this. it is an angry german kid waiting for his computer to load a video game. http://www.break.com/index/angry_german_kid_with_subtitles.html
• New band: The Audition. Check them out.
• Hayley -- what night do you want me to come over and hammer your picture hangers and looksie at your computer and so Ash can swim again?
• Lindzo -- what si the model number of the computer you are looking at?
• Cole -- ah, who am I kidding. Cole doesn't read this.

Well, I feel like this is the 10th time I've written this all down because stupid cousin central kept freezing every time I tried to post. Anyway, here's the abridged version.

Long story short, I feel a lot of responsibility in our family. As the oldest in the Nebraska-Wisconsin branches, I know that I have recently experienced and felt a lot of the things you are all going through or will in the next 10 years. I had a lot of not-so-hot emotional times (even if I keep it inside) and this whole college-to-real-world adventure we call life can really get off track fast.

I nearly made some mistakes that would have changed my entire life -- and I don't want you kids depressed or sad or emotionally unstable because your parents couldn't talk to you in your own terms.

What I'm getting at is that I want you all to still make mistakes and learn from them -- but with the proper mindset that will save you a lot of sleepless nights and get you through to the next steps with your mental health and happiness intact.

So this novel has two parts. Chapter 1 is Happiness. Chapter 2 is choices and destiny. Chapter 1 today.

I've been thinking a lot about choices, destiny, and the like. See, two things sparked this all -- one was an e-mail from an old college classmate that hit it big, and the other was my 10 year reunion.

You see, the old college classmate is now a marketing vice president at Verizon and has been in national commercials, been moved four times and is pulling down crazy awesome money. But for as well as she is doing, the only thing she can talk about is how sad and lonely she is to not have any friends, no man and be working 12-hour, 6-week days. She is the definition of what they tell you you can achieve in college if you work your butt off. That's the set up. See, I regularly kicked her ass in assignments and when we competed directly for clients in some advertising classes, my team was 4-1 against hers. So it makes me wonder could I have been her -- which further got me to thinking. Would I even want to be her?

The second step was the opposite direction of a gal at my 10-year reunion that was absolutely brilliant and gave up a promising academic career to marry young and be a stay-at-home mom. She had the same problem though -- regret. Regret that she gave up her career and may never get back into the field she studied. She was not happy either.

See, I've been thinking "is the grass always greener for some folks?" How do you know what success is and when you know if you've "made it?" Well, what I have come to realize is that there is no universal definition. The New York executive and the young mother have it all in completely different ways, but neither of them is happy.

Where am I going with all of this? Well, if you know me, I have always tried to define myself in my own terms and not by comparison or contrast. It breaks my heart to see people with lives that others would kill for, only to not be happy.

So I think I have reflected plenty on this in the last two weeks and concluded that success is really a mindset and an internal definition, not how others define you.

I have an awesome wife, a job I love most of the time, I get to see family and friends all of the time and I have my colleague's respect at work and in my profession. So what if I'm making a fraction of other classmates that I know I was better than. I have something far more valuable. I have found my definition of success, and I'm completely happy with who I am and my place in this world. They have money and families because somebody told them that was what success is. But since that was not their own definition, they still long for other things.

Here's where this comes full circle from what I posted to Lindsay a few weeks back....

When you have a 10-year reunion, it's easy to start playing the compare and impress game. But my 10-year reunion was nothing like. Most of us there were just happy to hook up again, and there wasn't the "I’m better than you" show that we had at the 5 year. Maybe there is an enlightenment that happens around age 28. If there is a midlife and quarter life crisis of identity, perhaps 28-ish is the grand enlightenment of self-realization

So to you youngins, let me tell you that it does get better. The uncertainty melts away, you finally discover your true self and the things that make you happy. You find your new sense of a home and to be happy, you need to find your own definition of success and pursue that -- not the definition that society, professors, parents or classmates throw on you -- or you will never feel that happiness.

For me, the simplest definition I have found for success is "knowing that one person out there sleeps better at night because you are alive." That right there, combined with the mentality to not compare myself to others has completely changed my life.

Andy, are you done with deep poo yet? I've been on the edge of my seat for a while now. By the way, how are you doing with the wifey gone? Just cuddle with Blue and it'll make it all better!

This girl should do stand-up comedy
Our darling Lindsey sent us a homemade anniversary card that brought tears to my eyes ... from laughing, that is.
The front had this lovely message: I hope your love lingers on ...
And the inside said: Like a big smelly FART! Happy Anniversary! Love, Linzo
Copyright 2006 by Arts Farts

Big props to you, sister dear. I was in a foul mood when I got home from work yesterday, but that cheered me up instantly.

Ok -- so I got some deep poo I am working through mentally.

Stand by for a blog novel.

I've had quite an eventful week thus far, and I just thought I'd share it with you all because I haven't written a blog for a long time.

So last night was my friend Chase's 22nd birthday. (He's the one that is in seminary to become a priest by the way.) I wanted him to have a good birthday so I invited him over and I was planning to make him a surprise supper. My roommate Shannon was my special helper too. So after my class in the afternoon I rushed home to play Betty Crocker before work. I wanted to make Chase a delicious chocolate-cherry two tier cake. So I mixed up my batter and popped it in my pans and let it do it's thing. Well, when they were finally done, I was pressed for time because I had to be to work in half an hour and it takes me about fifteen to get there. Anyway I went to dump cake tier #1 out and it crumbled into a hot, gooey chocolate-cherry mess. I was frazzled but decided it would be okay and I'd just have one little round cake instead. (The rest is in the freezer waiting to be used with ice cream or something.) So when I got back from work I grilled some lemon pepper chicken. This was risky because I've only grilled one other time so I was nervous. But it turned out great! We melted mozzerella cheese on top and served it on a bed of fetticini alfreado and had peas and a tossed salad on the side. All in all it was a great meal. Afterwards we were all talking and not to my surprise we all discovered that our lives are going in directions that we are unsure of or aren't aware of yet. I do feel bad for Chase though because his life decision is much more complex than Shannon and mine's are. He's not sure if seminary is what he wants to do and so in a matter of four hours we managed to consule each other and have a great birthday. Now stop Ashley and Andy. I know what you're thinking. I made him a special supper FOR HIS BIRTHDAY ONLY. And NO HE ISN'T GOING TO LEAVE THE SEMINARY FOR ME.

Today I took my first essay form test since high school. I was so nervous about it that I woke up at 6:00 this morning and studied and did practice tests until my class started at 1:00 this afternoon. That's pretty hard core. But I think I can see why people like essay tests better. At least you can get partial credit unlike all the stupid bubble-tests I take that it is either right or wrong. Anyway I hope it went well especially after all the hard work I put in.

The last thing I have to say is probably trivial but it has been building inside of me and I'd like to get it out. I really enjoy my job as a whole. Physical therapy isn't my alley exactly, but it is still interesting. Well one of my bosses is continuously cranky and basically tells people how much she hates to work. I find this funny because she has to be making quite a nice bit of dough, but from what I can evaluate I don't think she's at a happy time in her life. Sad day for her. But I worked over 12 hours this weekend at the Cornhusker State Games, which is an amateur sporting event that takes place once a year in Lincoln. Well I got volunteered by my boss to work as "medical personnel" at the youth baseball and open swimming events. I got excited until after I'd worked those 12 hours to only sit out in the 90+ degree heat and making only two ice bags. I mean I'm sure my time was appreciated but I felt that my weekend could've been spent doing something more productive. Anyway my boss that volunteered me has yet to mention or thank me for my efforts. I don't expect to get a thank you, but she hasn't once showed any sort of liking towards me. I'm starting to think I'm a bad person or something. Anyway, that is my gripe for the day.

Also, a special shout out to my lovely bride of three years today. This time three years ago, she as hustling do hair, make-up and nails and I was playing basketball. On another funny note, did you know an anagram for Andy Washburn is:

HUSBANDRY NAW.

Wonder what that means.

So --

I wrote another novel on Monday and then a faulty internet connection erased my masterpiece and I don't want to really rehash that all right now. So apologies for no monday musings. To make it up for you, please sheck out the song "the alamo is no place for dancing" by the Scene Aesthetic: http://www.purevolume.com/thesceneaesthetic

That and I have a mosquito bite on my cheek.

I went to the DMV this morning to renew my driver's license. The picture is way scary. Why didn't anyone tell me that my new haircut makes me look old? I know my 30th birthday is closer than my 20th, but still. hmph. Maybe I could use this picture instead.

Hey everybody. Listen to The Pineapple Song from the soundtrack of After the Sunset. It makes me so incredibly happy every time I listen to it. Currently, I'm no long bitter about my non-complete nights of sleep.

Why I'm never marrying a surgeon...
Mary left shortly after 2am this morning because of (what I presume) was a call to watch the liver transplant. Now, as she left in a short time, she failed to shut off her alarm. So at 5am I was woken from my dream (in which a ringing alarm fit into the setting) and had to get out of bed to shut it off. After 10 minutes of continuously sitting up then collapsing back into my pillow, I accepted defeat and got up for the day.

I made myself some ego wheat waffles that I topped with chocolate chips. While eating, I played domestic housewife and began busying myself around the kitchen. I made pumpkin bread. Then cut up the head of cauliflower (because it inevitably goes bad as even I am too lazy to cut vegetables when I'm really hungry). After I brush teeth, I'll probably do a little vacuuming then file away my finance papers I didn't get to last night.

Then I'll leave early for work so I can return Mary's library books, buy a sailing book, return my library books, and exchange the cracked juice pitcher at Target. All the while I will be praying my girls have mercy on this tired soul today - 9.5 hours with them yesterday almost did me over. I resorted to having them play a game in which the goal was to fall asleep first. No one won, but that was only because I couldn't play. Because if I played, I would refuse to wake up. Because yesterday I also had an initial 5am wakeup. Only since today I actually got up then, I know it's going to be a long day for as long as I stay awake...

Andy is out of town this week, so Monday musings are on hiatus. His absence means:
- I’m eating strange meals and watching Friends during supper.
- I’ve watched The Devil Wears Prada and two Sex and the City episodes … and it’s only Tuesday morning. :)
- I’m taking the final step in the lengthy process of transforming the hallway bathroom from Homage to the Early ‘90s to modern chic: painting the vanity and medicine cabinet white. So far, I’ve sanded everything, removed the doors and hinges, and put on the first coat of primer.
- Unfinished projects make me uneasy, especially in areas that are supposed to be my sanctuary, so I moved my grooming products into Andy’s bathroom for a few days. His shower, which normally contains a bar of Irish Spring, a bottle of shampoo, and a body wash (for really special occasions), is now littered with potions that have names like mango mandarin, raspberry almond, and green tea & ginger. Heh. It’s funny to see signs of femininity in a room that’s decidedly male.
- I’ve been journaling a lot. It’s good for my mental health; I need to do this more often.

I miss Andy. But once in awhile, it’s good to remind myself that I’m capable of unhinging doors and using power tools without help. And sometimes, it’s good for a couple to spend a week or two apart. The separation tends to make you feel like you’re falling in love all over again. The absence of our daily routine makes me appreciate our little rituals even more. To an outsider, I’m sure they seem boring and mundane. But to us, they’re evidence of the life we’ve chosen together. That’s your awwwww moment of the day.

Besides, I’m sure Andy is looking forward to nightly burrito and fish buffets when I’m in Nashville later this month.

The return of Monday Musings:

• I know it's Wednesday, but after the holiday, it feels like a Monday. Back off.
• Cole is single. And happy again might I add. She broke it off with him, but he comes out brilliantly. He didn't have to hurt her by being the jerk, he is out of a bad relationship, and as chipper as I've seen him in a long time. It sucks to lose your first love, but it is good to quit before you've put multiple years' time and emotion into it.
• Talk about following my own piece of advice -- I get an e-mail today from a fellow classmate and intern. She is massively successful and at 27 is a vice-president at Verizon and has a staff of 40, and was in a national commercial that is starting to air. Very hard not to compare myself to her, especially since I regularly kicked her ass in classes and on projects. She's making big bucks and is living just outside NYC. But I also detect some loneliness and sadness in her e-mail. Even though she has much success and money, I still consider myself much wealthier -- just in different ways and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
• Saw a cat brawl this morning. Cool.
• Emerging markets look to be where it will be as long as commodity prices stay high. I'm a little puzzled why the energy markets have not rallied despite the gas price spike.
• I like the smell of fireworks. Nothing like celebrating America by blowing a part of it up with Chinese technology.
• The North Koreans are crazy.
• Am I the only one that thinks this Ken Lay thing was suicide. You suddenly have a heart attack right before you are supposed to start serving life in prison?
• Wisconsin cousins, when Hayley turns 21, get ready to host us up there. Maybe fall of 2007?

First to direct a comment toward Andy's post - I find it unnecessary to add my opinions to topics that appear to belong only in the Nebraska circle. Some postings simply don't apply to me at all and I usually don't have any replies that contribute to the purpose of a given post. Unless I get more background for some things, they will probably remain Nebraska-only.

As for Paul - he's working back home and the dialup internet connection honestly can't handle this site well.

And a summary of what I've been up to lately:.. I'm still nannying for two girls during the week. They're so much better this year than last. We've had a lot of fun every day but maybe two so far, but those were because their parents kept them up to late over a weekend.

I sail whenever I have a free few hours. This past weekend I earned three more ratings (a rating allows you to take a given boat out in either light or heavy winds, depending on the level tested at). So I now have unlimited access to three boat fleets and the longboard windsurfers in the club. My body still hurts from 6 hours in 25 mph wind on Saturday, but it was so much fun I don't care. Plus, the latest boat I got rated on can hold 6 people, so now I can take out friends (and family) whenever I want for a little joy riding (did I mention it has room for coolers too?).

Then I used my club connections to get Mary and I a ride on one of the keelboats last night, that we sailed across the lake to watch the big "Rhythm and Booms" firework show with orchestra. Aside from the fact that we didn't get back to shore until after 1, it was an awesome evening.

In the words of Kelso:

HELLO WISCONSIN.

ANYBODY ALIVE OUT THERE?

Well, this post has two themes:
1) A tribute of advice to Lindsay on her 18th birthday, and
2) Advice I would give to myself as a 28 year old if I ran into myself as an 18-year-old .

Therefore, I will title this Blog: Ten Years Later -- What I wished I had known then...
Fellow bloggers, feel free to add your own advice. But Lindzo, try to carry this with you and talk to me, the cousins or any of your siblings about this stuff. You are phenominally lucky because you can learn and live better as a result of all the mistakes we have made. So off we go...

Ladie-friggin da. So you're 18, the second to last magic age before 21 when your birthdays become relatively meaningless until you start to get the senior citizen discount at restaurants and movies. So what does 18 mean legally in the state of Nebraska? Well, unless you are planning to live a hedonistic life, not too much.

• You can buy tobacco. Don't do it. All my friends that started smoking or chewing are still doing it, and the habbit has cost them about $6,500 over the last 10 years, not to mention the health problems later in life and expensive health insurance.
• You can buy lottery tickets. Don't do it. Gambling is a voluntary tax on the stupid. You have a better shot of winning American Idol than winning the lottery.
• You can vote. Do it. Register, and educate yourself on all of the issues. One vote may not mean much, but beggn an active citizen and knowing what these elected people stand for is extremely important to you rmental health.
• You are still a minor. That's right. In the State of Nebraska, you are still legally a child until you turn 19. So go out and commit some felonies, run up credit card debt, sign a lot of contracts, and then default on it all because you legally are still a child that can't sign contracts. Don't really do that stuff by the way - becuase you can still be tried as an adult and get the electric chair.
• If you have a penis, you have to register for the draft. Which is interesting on many levels socially with all of the gender equality advances over the last few decades, but I won't go there. If you were a guy, you are involuntarily registered to kill, fight and die for your country agaisnt your will, but you are not yet responsible enough to have a sip of beer according to the law. That's messed up.

Thats' the legal stuff, but here's the stuff I would really tell myself if I had it all to go back and do it over again.

1. Work less and play more. After college, you'll have to work more and play less, so live it up now. Still work to pay bills and all that jazz so you don't have a ton of debt after college, but enjoy being irresponsible for a few more years. That said, take internships. They will get you a good first job.
2. Avoid credit cards. Get one and buy gas to pay it off every month. But DO NOT use it for more than that. Ever. Unless you are trapped in Tunisia or something.
3. Don't over-program in college. Clubs and activities are fun, and I've seen it 100 times that people get too involved and can't do anything well. After a year or two, whittle it down to a small handful of things you care most about and get really involved with them. It will look better on your resume too, you'll be less stressed and happier.
4. Your high school friends will move on. With the exception of 2-3 kids, most high school friends will ditch you at college or shortly thereafter if they haven't already. Don't spend your first two years of college trying to keep that gang together. Go out and meet new people. HS friends will move on and there's nothing you can do about it. Don't get ofended. Also, at least one high school person you got along with so-so will likely become a close friend during college. I don't know why this happens, but it does.
5. Meet as diverse a group of people as you can. College firends from Chicago, Alaska and California can make weekend or spring break trips much cheaper, and it helps you realize the wonders of the world outside of Nebraska. It also helps to have diverse friends that have experienced a lot and can help you through tough times. You will make some of your best friends in college, and you will lean on these peopel more than any other friends you have had.
6. Don't get any thing perminant in the next ten years. No police records, tattoos, STDs or babies. My dad gave me that advice the day he dropped me off for college and it served me well. Piercigns are OK -- just don't go too crazy. They can always come out when you grow up.
7. Rebel. Try a stupid haircut or dressing different. Or travel to a place you've never been just because. Dye your hair or do something different than the norm. College is about counter-culture, so find yoruself. Just dont' go overboard or end up Goth.
8. You are about to go through the biggest personality and emotional change of your life in the next year. You will become independant, make your own rules, set your own curfews, manage your own time and have more freedom than you ever had before. Journal or be sure to step back from everything once a month, if not more, to evalute the person you are becomming and make sure you still like who that is. I know that after a year of college, I woke up one morning and did not like the person I had become and it took quite a bit of time for me to get my life back and be who I wanted to be.
9. Guess what. Chip is going to go through the same thing, an dprobably worse -- guys tend to mature even later so it may take even longer. Make sure you still like or love the person he becomes. You cannot change or control his growth, and he cannot change or control yours. But constantly evaluate and make note of his growth and the growth of your relationship. Year one of college is a make or break year for HS relationships. What you have now will be much different this time next year. It may be better, it may be worse. Whatever you do, don't stay with him if it starts to flounder. THIS WAS THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I HAVE EVER MADE. Don't be afraid to take breaks (the best thing Ash and I ever did), or break it off all together. Lindzo, you are a catch and Chip is damn lucky to even have you, even if you think it is the other way around. And if he get's to college, would rather just sit in his dorm room, becomes a total jerk, and his eye starts to wander to other college babes, don't hesitate to kick his ass to the curb. There are plenty of other fish out there. I saw all the signs with my high school grilfriend and wasted two years of college trying to maintain a relationship with a girl that had become a terrible self-centered cheater who was a shadow of who I first started dating.
10. Look out for yourself. Professors don't care if you succeed or fail. Roomates don't care if you succeed or fail. Your friends can't help you with debt. Even though it's good to be selfless, college is a time to improve yourself and set things up for the rest of your life and don't lose sight of that. Look out for yourself, becuase nobody else will on that campus.
11. Learn as much about personal finance as you can. In a few years, you will have a salary, insurance, car payments, credit cards, etc. After your career training, handling of your own assets is the most important thing to learn about in the next few years. Do it well, and life seems easy at times. Make a ton of mistakes and it will haunt you personally and anybody you marry for the next 10 years.
12. Don't try to keep up with the Joneses. I lost a lot of sleep trying to be a better person, get better grades or be more involved than my academic rivals. College is the first time you learn that no matter how good at something you are, there is always someone smarter, better looking, more charming, or wealthier than you. Be happy with being your own personal best and do not compare yourself to others because you will always lose. Always. This the hardest things for me to learn, but when I was finally able to reach this level of enlightenment, it was the second best discovery of my life -- after discovering your sister at a board meeting. I have friends my age that are still trying to have the nicest car, biggest house, and that type of constant comparison is takign a toll on her marriage and her friendships -- see Ash's previous post.
13. Don't forget your family. It is very easy for you to get lost in the shuffle of self-discovery and newness that the next few years will bring. You will forget about your family support group from time to time, and may even move family down the priority list. Everybody does it and it's OK to some degree as long as it isn't long lasting. Everybody experiences this in a different manner -- but just remember these people will be your support group and help out no matter what goes right or wrong over the next 10 year. And guess what, they are all looking forward to you becoming an adult and having adult relationships with you. Your siblings will treat you differently, your parents will treat you differently. It's an interesting time, but we're all looking forward to having another lifelong adult friend.
14. This one may surprise you -- Question your faith and the existance of God. Stay up late talking about theology and question everything with your new found independence. True faith comes from accepting soemthing on your own, not because your family forced it on you. When I was able to rationalize and find my spiritual identity on my own, it took on a whole new meaning for me.
15. Make the discovery that you will learn just as much outside of class than you do in class in college. Your education lasts long after those bells ring everyday, be sure that your eyes are open at all times.
16. Read as much as you can. Yes, you will be required to read for classes. A lot. But read other stuff. Fiction, non-fiction, whatever. But keep your mind active at all times.
17. If you drink, drink responsibly. Never get to the point where you are out of control, unless you are completely surrounded by people you trust. I never drank to the point of blacking out, but still drank. Probably too much. Never get that bad -- mailnly because of the next two points.
18. Avoid peer pressure. Do something because you want to do it.
19. Do not trust guys. I could go into 1,000 reasons for this, but I know for a fact that there is one main motivation in almost every college guy and 99% of the time, this drives their actions. The cunning young lady can use this to her advantage, but this will bit you on the ass later on.
20. You will have a quarter-life crisis where everything seems to be all wrong. It's OK. It will pass.
21. You will want to change your major at least twice. That's normal. If you do, make sure it is for the right reasons.
22. Don't take yoruself too seriously.

So that's a start.

Ash and I are extremely proud of you and you are standing on the edge of a cliff right now looking out at a very big world. As you jump off, enjoy the rush -- just make sure that you realize there is a lot of life after you open your parachutte and land, but that the next few years are a hell of a ride that will have lots of ups and downs.

Have fun discovering the world outside the clutches your parents, and we'll be there if you need us.

Happy 18th Birthday.

Cousin Central has a new look. Let me know what you think.

After reading this post, in combination with what I posted Thursday, ya'll probably are going to think I'm full of gloom-and-doom. I'm really not, but this is such an excellent place to get feedback that I can't help myself from venting.

How do you know when a friendship is over for good?

I've had a friendship that's really been struggling for the last 12 to 18 months. A few weeks ago, after a particularly nice evening with this friend, I told myself that I was going to let go of the resentment I had toward her and try to resurrect our friendship. Today, I received an e-mail from her that is making me second-guess my decision to extend the olive branch. I feel like she's interested in being friends for a specific purpose only, and I'm not cool with that. I refuse to let someone use me.

Maybe having a conversation to clear the air would help. But honestly, I'm having a tough time figuring out how to be diplomatic and cool-headed when I'm pretty damn angry. My pot of anger has boiled over, so to speak. I've also come to the conclusion that maybe we don't even have a friendship to save anymore. If that's true, how sad.

I guess if I've learned anything from this mess, it's that I should've confronted her the first time she hurt me. Interestingly enough, that happened 4th of July weekend last year. I didn't do anything because I thought it was an isolated incident that was the result of poor communication. Unfortunately, that one incident has snowballed into several, and my hurt has only intensified.

In this situation, what does "being the bigger person" mean? Confronting her? Forgiving her and moving on? I'm at a loss. We have a lot of mutual friends, so I don't want to have a big, awkward falling out that makes everyone uncomfortable.

I'm confuzzled. I haven't faced a situation like this since high school. I know how immature I was then, so I don't think that's a great example of how to conduct myself. :)

I applied for grad school this morning. I haven't applied to a specific program yet; I just submitted an application so I can take classes if I want.

I'm scared s*&tless. Now that I've been out of school four years, I don't miss taking tests, writing papers, and studying. My priorities have changed a lot since graduation. Do I even have the ability to buckle down and study anymore? What happens when I get a -5,872 on the GRE because I haven't taken a math class since 1998? Could I get kicked out?

I wouldn't be considering grad school if I worked for a mainstream journalism outlet. Journalists and P.R. people tend to believe that real learning happens on the job, and people with advanced degrees use education credentials to hide behind the fact that they're not very talented. In the communications field, there is some sad truth to that statement.

Here's the dilemma, kittens. I have chosen to make a career out of working for the public sector. Government- and university-types love advanced degrees. It's difficult to advance without "M-something" or "Ph.D" behind your name. I'm not arrogant enough to believe I have nothing to learn, but I believe the skills I need to improve are best learned through experience, not studying a theory from some textbook. Am I selling out by doing something I'm not enthusiastic about, or am I being smart and realistic?

Who knows, maybe I'll love being a student again. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.

Wednesday Wanderings of the mind.

• My friend just dropped $20,000 on a new car. Its an HHR and I think they are as ugly as sin. And he color is nto that great -- like a tomato red. How do I show my enthusiasm toward it, when I think it looks like a pregnant rollerskate?
• I'm really diggign some music these days.
• Listen to "Boston" by Augustana. Download it, check it out on myspace or purevolume.com -- it will make youhappy and sad at the same time.
• Also, check out Jack's Manequinn. They are fronted by one of the guys who used to be in Something Corporate. If you dig piano-punk, you'll love this. Try "Bruised" "Mixed Tape" and anything on this website: http://jacksmannequin.com/indexc.html
• The markets suck these days. I won't even go there. Volatile is an understatement.
• I ate potato salad for the first tiem in 17 years this weekend. Not bad, but it was a different type with bacon and ranch something. Good stuff
• I love the College World Series. It turns me into a 7-year old kid again. Even if I don't get to games. the opening ceremonies rocked. Literally. The fireworks were the best I've ever seen and YellowCard played a free two-hour concert. Good stuff.
• I have lots of left over beer from our BBQ. What to do.

Hi. My name is Julie and I have a problem. I've been neglecting the blog lately. With support, I will recover soon.