Late Monday musings due to havign to mow. Where to begin.

• Ok, a professor can not return calls or e-mails, barely speak English, make me take a test the night of a memorial service, leave town for two weeks during the semester and not tell any of us, etc – but when that bastard makes us buy $170 in textbooks that are impossible to find, and un-returnable to the bookstore and carry a $0 value, that makes me want to declare a Jihad on him.

• So, if you are the friend that is always calling around to get people together, does that make you the loser of the group? I was just thinking – if we didn’t call around to our friends all the time, we would be sitting at home all the time. Or are we just the best friends to everybody in charge of making plans?

• Looks like the bull market for the next few months is going to be in health care and the Asian-pacific rim. I’d suggest playing UNH, ANWPX and any ETF that looks at Asia or emerging markets

• There’s nothing sexier in April than getting your deck stain and sealant down and watching the water bead off of it.

• Just for Paul: http://www.break.com/index/bush9.html

• So I had an uber-productive week at work. You’ve GOT to love that. Unfortunately, the best time came at 3 p.m. on Friday, when I was thinking of leaving early.

• So Ash hung some paint chips on my bathroom wall as we are thinking of touching up some painting this weekend as it is rainy and cold outside. The funny thing is, they are all shades of brownish-green and she put them straight in front of the toilet and I couldn’t help but laugh. When I’ve had bad food or am sick, am I supposed to use the shade to tell her how I feel when I use the facilities. “Honey, I think I am feeling better. I’ve gone from evergreen to spring grass, but my pee is still ‘vineyard’”

• I am a big fan of the throwback screen in college football.

• Ok, quick advice to all you heart-breakers out there. And to nobody in particular. If you are going to break up with someone, there is never a good time. It is published and proven that legally, there are only a handful of days/times where you cannot break up with someone. Their birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s day, near a family death, or around the finale of American Idol. Well, all except for the last one. There is never ever a “good time” to do it – so once you’ve committed, dig your heels in and don’t be talked out of it. If I had been, I'd likely be married to the side of beef that the lesbian I dated for a week has become -- I didn' tknwo she was a lesbian at the time.

• Why do cats hate aluminum foil so much?

• I am quite proud. Most of my landscaping stone work has not shifted or moved the three years. Yay me. I rule.

• So I ran into the infamous lesbian ex-girlfriend at a baseball game. She most definitely saw me and realized that I spotted her. Wow, the last six years have not been kind to her. Gained weight, a bad haircut – actually, it looks like she got hit with everything that Britney Spears has had trouble with, except for the baby thing. Like total white trash. Does that make me a bad person for getting a little smile about that? I mean, her parents tried to “fix her” by making her marry a neighbor boy and go to church, and she lives in a pretty seedy part of town now. It probably makes me a bad person, but I took a little bit of joy in that -- perhaps not because of her misfortune, but because I got ou tof that quickly while I could.

• Interesting tangent from that story. The lesbian’s dad goes to the church we got married in and played Judas in the passion play this year. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

• Chris Farley was a comedy genius

• Oakland is looking pretty good so far this year. Took a few from the Yankees, but the starting pitching could be better.

• Two more buddies get married this summer. Sorry Hayley, the options I know about are dropping like flies. Hope your date with Brad went well. We want blog details.

More later. Time to go to work.