Last semester, Andy entertained us with stories about the bastard-filled/coated/covered professor. Since Dr. Asshat is out of the picture, allow me to introduce you to my socially inept coworker.

Socially Inept Coworker (S.I.C.): My dog pooped on the floor again this morning.
*Ashley and The Boss stare at him, wondering why the eff he's telling us this.*
S.I.C.: He's old. It just falls out of his butt.
*more silence and stares*
S.I.C.: Are there rules against bringing dogs to work? I think someone needs to look after him during the day.
The Boss, glaring at S.I.C.: No way in hell are you allowed to bring that dog here.