Sunday, April 20, 2008

Breakups

You know how you can foresee that a situation is going to turn bad at some point, but you don't know how or when or how to prevent it from happening?

Andy and I have had a falling out with a couple who used to be two of our best friends. The friendship had been suffering for 2.5 or 3 years because of a variety of issues that I won't bore you with, but a conversation last evening probably ended it.

We've tried to fix things but it just isn't working anymore. Everybody talks about how much romantic breakups suck, but friendship breakups hurt, too. We still care about them and really miss what we used to have, but the friendship has been more stressful than fun for a really long time now. We're just plain tired of it. Plus, they're still utterly clueless about what led us to this point, despite several conversations where we've laid it all out there.

The "breakup" is just the tip of the iceberg, I fear. They're part of our group of college friends, and we've continued inviting them to parties and gatherings even while things have been weird. In the past year, they've declined about half the invitations and have started distancing themselves from the rest of us. Should we take that as a sign to stop extending the olive branch altogether? Continue inviting them, just to avoid awkwardness with the rest of the group? The last thing I want to do is screw up the group dynamics, but you know how these things can go.

Blarg. I hate this. It's a long time coming but I'm still really sad about how this has turned out.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

super lecture, andy. i had to watch it in three shifts, but it was truly inspiring.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Hayley's Update

Speed Updates
Since everyone is super busy these days, here's a quick way to update everyone on how you're doing today. Just reply and replace my answers with yours.

I’m dreaming of: playing more sand volleyball and roasting s'mores by a campfire
I’m procrastinating on: Nothing...I don't have time to put off anything. I'm currently in the library studying for a test tomorrow. Tomorrow I will continue my marathon of studying. But, I've found new company here that is the hunky boy variety. Yummy!
I’ve accomplished: making charts for my up-and-coming tests
I’m listening to: Blackout-- Britney Spear's new CD. I know she's a psycho "new" hottie and all, but she has some upbeat tunes!
I’m reading: Medical/Surgical notes, NCLEX prep books
I need to buy: deodorant (don't worry mine's not ALL the way out yet), groceries, a new summer wedding dress!!!
This person/place/thing made me smile today: Hmm...the hunk at the library. Other than that, I will sadly say I've been a bundle of nerves/stress/anxiety. The pressure is on.
The Idiot of the Day Award goes to: I could give a lot of these out today, but here's one case of Idiot of the Day Award: my classmate Mandee (not the sharpest tool in the shed) asks, "So, when you're a carrier do you like have the disease? Teacher: yes Mandee, when you're a carrier for a disease you have it in your genes. So you do have symptoms?" I mean please.
I’m dreading: 1. this weekend, 2. the next week and a half. I have 6 tests in 9 days. Yikes! Plus, I miss my family and friends like crazy and I haven't had much time to communicate.
I'm looking forward to: going out tomorrow night to see a scary movie with my friends.
I CAN’T go to bed until: I fall asleep at my computer. However, I don't foresee this becoming a problem because I haven't slept very well for the past week. I've had restless nights full of nightmares. Any suggestions?

Addition: Ironic Situation of the Semester-
The girl that currently lives with my ex-roommate told me today that she's done living with her and wants to know if I would live with her next semester. All I can say is, Julianne, karma is a bitch. I hope you enjoy!

My Speedy Update

I’m dreaming of: wearing my swimsuit on a hot summer day in the lifeguard chair
I’m procrastinating on: many things...finishing a project for Math Methods that isn't due until the week before finals, but I really would like to have it out of the way, writing an Education philosophy that will probably make me break down and wonder if I will be a good teacher, working on gathering information for a Communications symposium (whoever decided to have the stupid class in Doane Plan was an idiot), studying for the PPST (Pre-Professional Skills Test) that will decide if I get to continue in my education to become a teacher, and working on my Education portfolio...yes, I am stressed...
I’ve accomplished: getting the majority of said Math Methods project done (unfortunately it won't finish itself)
I’m listening to: the sound of the shower coming from the bathroom on the other side of the wall...weird
I’m reading: Summer Boys by Haley Abbott (when I have time, that is) it's a re-read, but it gets me in the mood for summer
I need to buy: I just went to Wal-Mart an hour ago. I needed band-aids to cover up my wounds from having moles removed...a mole was atypical, so they decided to slice some more off to check out
This person/place/thing made me smile today: Chip - after I complained about starting to get love handles from all the stress eating I've been doing, he told me I was still hot, he loved me, and my body is perfect the way it is
The Idiot of the Day Award goes to: the stupid idiot who teaches my digital photography class...here's a novel idea, instead of messing around on photoshop, why don't we actually learn how to take good pictures??? stupid. Oh, and Tyson Compton for not calling Stop Day today. It was a gorgeous day, and this week would have worked so much better for me rather than next week when I will have two tests following Stop Day.
I’m dreading: giving up my weekends to make time to finish my stupid projects
I'm looking forward to: STOP DAY!!! I was really hoping they would call it for today, but they didn't...it will probably be next Wednesday...I can't wait!!!
I CAN’T go to bed until: Well, since I'm procrastinating on everything else, I just need to take a shower before bed.

Mi Casa

Hi guys!

Recently I have had an uncanny ability to have problems solved without even trying. I was planning to start searching for apartments online this past Saturday. However, last Friday night one of my fellow interns-to-be, from the University of Illinois Medical School in Rockford emailed me asking if I wanted to be her roommate. We had actually met on our interviews here at the UW and at Mayo and got along really well. So, after a flurry of emails between each other, our respective families, and the apartment leasing office, I am pleased to announce my new address, as of June 1:

901 Colorado Blvd.
#331
Denver, CO 80206

We got a 2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment with a washer/dryer in the unit, plus there is a little computer room in there so I don't have to haul out my computer desk. It faces the outdoor pool. The nice thing is that the rent will be basically the same as I am paying now in Madison, plus, unlike here, parking is included at no extra cost. I am really excited. Plus, this afternoon I was trying to responsibly read something medical, when my resident and intern plopped down next to me and decided to start Google mapping their houses and the attending's house. I had never seen it before, so I played around looking at my new neighborhood in Colorado! My intern was similarly dumbfounded, and was like, "I am so proud of humanity! Yeah, we can't solve world hunger, but we can photograph nearly every house in the United States!"

Of course, Mom and I had already bought plane tickets to visit Denver the end of April to find housing, but now we can just relax more out there and check out the apartment and measure rooms and everything. I had just been planning on rooming alone, but it will be nice to have someone to talk to after work, especially not really knowing anyone out in Denver.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Take an hour to watch this.....

When you have about 76 minutes to kill, take time to look at this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

It is the last lecture from a Pixar-type professor dying of pancreatic cancer, and it talks about life, dreams, legacies, families, etc.

The first 45 minutes is a handful of fun stories, but the second part is really touching. Makes you think a lot about your own life.

If any of you are doing any sort of early shopping for Andy's birthday, he's written a book as well called "The Last Lecture" -- and you know my cheap ass likes the value that used books offer (Its like $12 used on Amazon).

Sunday, April 13, 2008

maybe if i focus on summer....

though I don't technically get a summer break, my weekends will likely be free enough to enjoy the good weather. currently, i most look forward to hiking though state parks and swimming in their lakes.

super. that was 30 seconds i didn't get to think about the semester projects i haven't even started yet.

share you summer visions with me. =)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Speedy Reply #1

I’m dreaming of: warm spring days when the tulips are in full bloom.
I’m procrastinating on: training for our half-marathon.
I’m listening to: raindrops on my window.
I’m reading: mostly about mechanical ventilation these days, sorry dudes.
I need to buy: Mmmmmm, craisins.
This person/place/thing made me smile today: The thought of seeing Julie's smiling face again.
The Idiot of the Day Award goes to: I, too, clearly hate grammatical errors. However, my person potentially beats your person. Young man in mid-twenties intentionally ingested 75 grams tylenol (150 500 mg capsules) and is now practically on the liver transplant list. I helped admit him last night. At 1 AM.
I’m dreading: nada
I'm looking forward to: Flying to Colorado the end of the month.
I CAN’T go to bed until: I finish this speedy update!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Speed Updates

Since everyone is super busy these days, here's a quick way to update everyone on how you're doing today. Just reply and replace my answers with yours.

I’m dreaming of: playing on a beach
I’m procrastinating on: a writing project
I’ve accomplished: getting a bunch of content to our Web guy before he leaves for vacation
I’m listening to: John Mayer’s Continuum album
I’m reading: the new issue of Newsweek
I need to buy: shampoo
This person/place/thing made me smile today: Seeing Andy bundled up and snoozing on my side of the bed, looking all peaceful and adorable.
The Idiot of the Day Award goes to: The woman running for Legislature in my district, whose mailer included this sentence: “This is my forth year as an Aid for District 21.”
I’m dreading: Driving to Grand Island tomorrow for an early-morning photo shoot
I'm looking forward to: A girls’ night out this weekend
I CAN’T go to bed until: I clean the litter box. Yikes!

Saturday, April 05, 2008

My New Haircut

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Visit?

One time long ago, we'd talked about a cousin get-together in Lincoln after Mary's graduation. Just wanted to give you a heads-up that the weekends of the 10th and the 17th are bad for us because of family graduations and cousins getting confirmed. However, we'd still love to host you in late May/early June.

Now, for some belated Easter pics ...





Sunday, March 23, 2008

Weekend Update

Today Madison reached the 100 inches mark for snowfall this year, the most ever recorded. Yay for us. Friday we got 7.7 inches, then a blizzard at the end of my and Julie's 6 mile run this afternoon tipped us over the edge. In other news, half-marathon-training season is upon us. I have never run 6 miles before in one setting, so I am quite pleased with myself. The big day is May 25.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Drum roll, please...

I MATCHED AT THE UNIVERSITY OF COLORADO!!!




Wednesday, March 19, 2008

quick san diego update

we went surfing yesterday!!! then walked the beach and boardwalk. today is the zoo. thursday is possibly shopping and wine tasting. friday back to madison.

the city is incredibly clean and beautiful, though i still don't think i could live in a city. i love the modern edge on a lot of the condos/apartments here too. i took pictures of a couple.

meanwhile, good luck to mary with her match tomorrow!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Hellooooo? Anyone out there?

The blog has been a bit quiet for my liking, but I know everyone is far more studious and busy than I am right now. Random updates on my life:

Hayley and I are going to Kansas City this weekend to shop and see our lovely relatives. That means we'll have some new family photos to post soon! (We'll do our best to capture all of London's cuteness. And Erv's, hee hee.)

Last weekend, I finally convinced Andy to try Indian food. He's now a fan. Yay! Bonus: Our friend Melissa's parents ended up at the same restaurant as us & sent a bottle of wine to our table.

We're in the process of buying a car and life insurance. (The timing is coincidental, by the way.) Fun, right?

I was going to report that I'm healthy again, but I've had a bit of a relapse this week. Either I've been overdoing it or I'm catching the nasty cold that's been circulating around my office.
I'm in charge of the Anderson Easter Egg Hunt this year! You're never too old for pastel candy goodness, I say. Plus, this year we *might* have a 9-year-old "visitor" at our Easter festivities because Grandpa (allegedly) has a 45-year-old girlfriend with a young kid. If she's really his girlfriend--and not some well-meaning lady who befriends the elderly--it's beyond creepy. We choose to deny that this is going on.

What is the Wisconsin branch doing for Easter this year? Should we make batches of Jiggler eggs and think of each other?

Friday, March 07, 2008

Don't get too excited, but ...

I am totally painting my future (yet to be conceived) daughter's room like this. It's girly without being overly babyish and cutesy.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

I'm sure some of you have seen this already. Cute kids. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Mary dear:

When do you find out the next chapter of your life? Isn't March the month when you find out where you'll be doing your residency? Good luck to you my dear!

Monday, March 03, 2008

Spooky

Prepare yourself for a profound blog.

Fact: I dusted my coffee table this weekend, and it was completely empty when I placed my radiology study materials onto it.

Fact: Radiology does not entirely thrill me, so I dozed off a little bit.

When I awoke, I discovered a partially empty Deja Blue water bottle sitting on my coffee table. However, I just bought Ice Mountain water bottles and know for sure that there should be no other brands of water bottles in my apartment, let alone mysteriously appearing on my table. Also, I noticed that my billfold was sitting on top of my schedule, when I thought it was in my backpack. So, I am left with 3 disconcerting possibilities: 1) I have ghosts; 2) I am going crazy; or 3) there was an intruder in my apartment who likes to leave H2O bottles behind.

Julie, you or the parents didn't leave it in my apartment yesterday, did you? I know, you only drink Evian.

Friday, February 22, 2008

seriously the best youtube ever.

watch it! expect something just as awesome from my (future, unannounced) wedding reception!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImBaVm7K6Do


p.s. how do you add a video directly to the blog page?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

A minor distraction

Alanis takes on a modern tune. Enjoy.


Monday, February 18, 2008

As if you needed proof that I'm an Anderson ...

I'm having a klutzy day.

This morning, I spilled a bottle of water. It ran behind the desk and formed a puddle just three inches from the power strip. Yikes!

Then, when I took my Lean Cuisine panini out of the microwave, it slipped off its special high-tech grilling platform and landed face-down on the floor. Cleaning melted cheese off a carpeted floor is a bitch, my friends.

I wonder what kind of trouble I'll get into tonight when I'm painting the cupboards in Andy's bathroom?

I realize this isn't groundbreaking blog material, but I figured that you guys would sympathize with my plight, hee hee.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Happy V-Day


Happy Valentine's Day, cousins. In honor of the holiday, I made cupcakes for Andy. The darker pink ones have raspberry filling. The light pinks are plain vanilla with buttercream frosting.

Political Predictions

Obama will win Wisconsin, Hilary is finished. I think he will take John Edwards as his VP

John Mccain will win Wisconsin. Mike Huckabee will be his VP.

McCain/Huckabee ticket will win the election. Americans will vote for the experienced--sorry Obama, maybe in a few more years--- "grandfather" figure mccain (he's the next Eisenhower basically). Mccain is weak on social issues. Almost all of Huckabee's positions appeal to me, especially having FairTax. The combination of them lures conservatives that are interested in social issues and national security...they offset eachother's weaknesses. Soon after taking office Mccain will die---My man will become President. fin

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Security settings

I have tightened the privacy settings on our blog so that nobody except us (or anyone we want to invite) can read our blog. I KNOW I selected this option when I set up the blog, but I'm thinking that setting went away when Google took over Blogger about a year ago. Remember when we had to change our sign-in stuff? I assumed that our settings would stay the same once everything switched over, but that was a bad assumption to make. I never even thought to check whether our privacy settings stayed the same. Gah. The problem is fixed now.

Monday, February 11, 2008

The Mysterious Disappearing Posts

Okay, you may or may not have noticed that my posts no longer appear on the blog. Julie alerted me the other day that the blog is in fact not secure and that any schmoe can read what is on it. Therefore, I deleted all my posts in a panic. Not that anyone probably cares what we write, but I wrote a lot of stories about exploits in medical school. Nothing came close to breaking HIPAA confidentiality, but I still wouldn't want anyone but you guys to be reading them. Overreaction? I know not.

I just finished my Step 2 clinical skills exam in Chicago. Mom and Dad drove me there to keep me company. Hopefully I passed. It was the last big hoop to jump through before graduation. Match Day is March 20. We are voting on slogans for our Match Day t-shirts...

One of my favorite suggestions by people in our class...

"$50,000 in medical school tuition. Step 1, Step 2 CK, Step 2 CS, $2000. 500 cups of coffee, 500 Mountain Dews, 200 Red Bulls...$4000. Matching in your dream residency? Priceless. There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there are student loans."

...a little wordy though.

Paul and I are going to try to go to the Obama rally at the Kohl Center tomorrow...yes, a DEMOCRAT rally! For historical purposes.

Monday Musings

So...I probably have no excuse for not blogging, but I am really boring these days. Just be taking care of a tired wife who is still shaking off mono and that's about it.

On the guitar front, I have a handful of songs under my belt and am enjoying the practice. Still really struggling with bar chords and moving from other chords to C and back. Its a toughie.

On the ordaining front, there was a big article in the paper that talked about getting ordained online. So.....I have been researching the two different sites. Neither of them charge and most o it takes about 30 minutes to get through the material.

I started running the couch-to-5-K plan in January, but have taken the last two weeks off by accident. I lack motivation and the extreme cold and a small home improvement project got in the way. Ash decided we want to paint the basement and rearrange all of the furniture. So that's done now, but I got off schedule. My goal is get get back to where I was by the end of February and then keep the momentum going in March.

Work is getting better. We're plowing through a transition period, but my role may actually improve as time goes by. Was contacted by a job at Michigan State by a search firm, but I am not a fan of East Lansing and probably not quite ready for a job like that.

Got our taxes done already. Whee. Too bad our "conservative" president can't balance a budget with what we are charged for taxes. Unbelievable.

So, I caucused this weekend. A fascinating process, and the first time ever for Nebraska to hold its primary in that manner. Loads of fun, and it was at a golf course by my house, so there was beer available. Now that is politics.

Speaking of....I'd like our Political Science expert in the family to break down the candidates, who he supports, who he thinks will win, and what he thinks will happen in Wisconsin. With Wisconsin coming up, I'd like to know how Paully thinks they are going to go.

Monday, February 04, 2008

fitness newsletter

My personal trainer just set up a monthly newsletter that he prepares and can be sent out to anyone who signs up at his webpage, not just his clients as it was before.

http://www.dustinmaherfitness.com/

They're actually pretty good... inspiring with some practical fitness tips. Definitely sign up and read what he has to say for a few months - can't hurt!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Let's run off to Europe and become artists

Today, my work took me to the Home Economics building -- one of the few places on campus I’ve never been. I went there to interview a guy who is affiliated with the quilt center I mentioned in an earlier blog.

I’ve always heard that the textiles, clothing and design department is like a different universe. I figured that was because the TCD girls dress like Project Runway models while the rest of campus is grubbing out in sweatpants and Uggs.

But TCD turned out to be so much more. (This is not sarcasm, by the way.)

Once I contained my glee over seeing Vogue in the waiting room (what other place on campus has the good sense to offer this amenity?), I was able to focus. Kind of. I secretly wanted to sneak into the studios and touch all the gorgeous fabric.

Until college, I engaged in some form of creative expression every day, whether it was in music class, doing layout for the yearbook, or just spending time alone drawing or writing. I don’t do any of that anymore. The only bummer about turning your hobby into a career is that it’s, well, work. After spending half my day or more on writing projects, it’s the last thing I want to do when I come home. Also, journalism school was the best and worst thing that ever happened to my writing, but that’s a story for another time.

Being in the studios reminded me that it would be nice to have an artsy hobby again. I’ve channeled most of my artistic energy into home decorating, which is fun, but I can’t paint the living room every weekend. It’s just not practical; we have 10-foot ceilings. Not that I haven’t thought about it, heh heh.

So, ladies and gents, I have some ideas:

  • Sing in a choir. That would probably require joining a church -- yet another story for another day.
  • Sewing, although I’m not sure I have the patience for it
  • More card decorating
  • Photography
  • Learning the right way to mat and frame photos
  • What else?

Side note -- Didn’t we have fun back in the day, making posters for Grandpa’s room and splatter-painting when Mom and Cindy weren’t looking?

Monday, January 28, 2008

It's 44 degrees this morning! yay!

After last week's subzero temperatures, I was super happy that it was 50 yesterday. Andy and I walked about 1.5 miles, which isn't much, but was a huge accomplishment for me since my ass has been firmly planted on the couch for the last month. It was wonderful to walk outside wearing a fleece jacket instead of my heavy Columbia coat or a wool jacket. Today is the last day of this wonderful spring-like weather (and I hear snow is on the way again), but oh well. Any respite from winter is nice.

I get lots of nesting urges in the winter. Tonight, I'm going to start sketching plans for my spring gardening projects. I might even paint the basement soon, if I'm feeling up to it.

Friday, January 25, 2008

my final year of pharmacy school

Big news!!! My 6 clerkship blocks for next year have been posted. This is the order, with two in each semester (summer, fall, and spring):

1-2. La Crosse, WI
3. Aiea, HI (yes, that's in HAWAII!!!!!)
4. Bayfield, WI
5. Boscobel, WI
6. Tomah, WI

All but hawaii offer free housing, which is mostly how I'm affording to go so far away. I'm super pumped. I was probably the only one who got all their top choices (it helped that most of my choices weren't popular ones). I've even been making lists of fun activities to do in each of these locations. YAY!

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

When walking from place to place

this is a good tune to listen to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BugFniXE1rc

guaranteed to get you whistling

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Happy new year!


So I'm about 19 days late, but the sentiment still stands. :) I figure since I haven't blogged for awhile, except for a few comments here and there, that I'd contribute.

My year has gone swimmingly so far. Yes, I still have mono and don't feel awesome yet. However, my mind is at peace now that I'm not working at a place that made me cry at least once a week and gave me a panic attack (not an exaggeration, unfortunately). I really like my new job. Everyone has been so welcoming, and I like what I'm doing. I'm a writer and editor for the university's research office, which means I'm one of the first people to hear about and publicize everyone's nifty inventions. I love working for a university-wide office because I don't have to focus on one subject -- I cover everything from the arts and humanities, to science and engineering, to agriculture, to quilt studies. My first major assignment was on continuous nanofibers. Do I really understand what that means? Just barely. But since I've made a career out of knowing a little bit about a lot of things, I can usually pull together a decent story when I have time to do my research.

Other random thoughts:
* I've been guzzling green tea, in hopes that it will boost my immune system. Plain green tea tastes like grass. Green tea with jasmine tastes like you're munching on an orchid (or what I imagine what that would taste like). ;) Green tea infused with lemon and honey is bearable.

* The end-of-season sales have been out of control. Or rather, my spending has been out of control, tee hee. But how am I supposed to pass up a pair of wool dress pants for $17.99 at Banana Republic? Or the $9 sweatpants at Express? Or J. Crew's online sales? Gah, somebody should block jcrew.com on my Safari browser because I'm pretty sure it'll be my downfall.

* I posted a picture of my new Easter dress. This is the first non-sale item that I've bought at BR, but it is so me. The picture doesn't do it justice; just ask Hayley how cute I looked. :)

* This weekend, I am working on a list of New Year's resolutions, which include grand visions of keeping my inbox de-cluttered and taking better care of myself. Once I start feeling better, I will start running again and using Julie's tips for toning the badonk.

* Mom, Hayley, Lindsey and I saw 27 Dresses this afternoon. 'Twas a very enjoyable chick flick, and hello eye candy ... James Marsden is a hottie. I've loved him ever since he was on Party of Five back in 1995. Oh, and he was Lon in the The Notebook.

* I think May would be a great time for a cousin reunion.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Update to My Life - Part 2

Hello all! I'm writing from my cute new apartment. I am giddy because I'm blaring my upbeat music that I like and I don't have to worry about if anyone else likes it. I love living by myself! Not to mention my friends are all in my building. It has changed me already. Today I giggled a lot...looks like I'm more back to my old self.

Yesterday was my first day of classes and it was very overwhelming. This semester I have Medical/Surgical with a twice a week clinical, Pathophysiology, and Pharmacology. Basically, I will be devoting my precious time with my text books. Good thing I knew about the rigorous load of this semester already. Last night I already started studying and I have my first test tomorrow on IVs and IV calculations.

Today, was probably one of the best labs I've had yet. I learned about IVs, how to put them in, take them out, and change the meds. It was very exciting practicing on computer simulation programs and rubber arms! I met my clinical instructor for this semester today, and she seems very nice and makes a lot of jokes. She gave me a smiley face and a great on my paper today for my IV skills. Needless to say I was stoked...but mostly because she digs smiley face reward systems! Of course I had to add a little bit of Hayley to the day, so as we are rotating to practice setting up the IV pump I have to maneuver around another IV pole complete with four different IV lines. As I try to expertly step over the cords, I manage to use the dreaded Anderson Clumsy tricks and get my legs caught in all the cords. Luckily I'm really good at laughing at myself; and my classmates got a kick out of my grace as well.

I'm not sure how exciting this information is to everyone else, but it is refreshing to see that I can still smile and get a laugh out of my classmates. After being under the stress of Julianne, I lost my humor. Now I just smile when I watch her show up late and ditch out of class early. Looks like maybe I won after all. Suck on that!

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

finance advice

andy, i'm starting to become curious/concerned about my future finances... for when i graduate in a year and a half. i realize i will have plenty of money to work with, i just want to make sure i make the best decisions with it.

do you have any suggestions for books, magazines, webpages, etc. that i can start perusing? i want to save as much as possible, and invest safely. there's this plan that eventually i'll find a man and have kids, so someday i may want to have saved a bundle... make life easier.

Friday, January 04, 2008

An Update From Lincoln

Friday evening musings, while at home with a sick wife.

Well, we survived 2007. Barely.

I am graduated and Ashley has finally escaped the evil clutches of the Engineering college.
But such a long, bad, stressful year was certain to have a hang-over of sorts.

Ash got mono. Yup, mono. So, her long anticipated start at a new employer will have to be delayed slightly. She tried to go in on her first day and they sent her home at noon. Since then, her days have consisted for sleeping, reading and cuddling with the cat. Once this passes, 2008 is settng up to be swell.

Since my studies have completed, I've kept busy. Caring for an ill wife has taken some time, but allowed me to catch up on mundane chores such as budgeting and checkbook balancing or de-fragmenting our hard drives and putting away holiday decorations. I've spent a bit of time with the new guitar and have picked up some things. I have most major chords down and can pick out a few tunes. I have new respect for Dave Matthews, Colin Hay John Mayer, Ben Folds, Pearl Jam and Counting Crows. Even though I have heard those songs thousands of times, I am hearing these songs much differently and am falling in love with them all over again. Kindof a cool experience. As a stark contrast to a teenager learning saxophone, I am actually enjoying practicing. Though if I could play Pearl Jam on the sax, I might enjoy it more.

I'm starting my running routine soon. I turn 30 in 6 months and 3 days and one of my post-graduation goals is to get into the best shape of my life by the time I'm 30. Now, I've never been really in shape, and I've never been that far out of shape really this this may not take much of an accomplishment. But I do have some goals to work for. I want to try and run a mile non-stop without rest by the end of March and if I don't hate myself by then maybe get more ambitious and try a 5K. We'll see. There is a facebook application called runalicous that will track my progress. When the weather warms a bit, we get started -- or head to the rec center.

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. After flirting with the Wisconsin Alumni Associaiton, I got a call from Illinois today. My counterpart there retires in 3 years and he wanted to let me know he has to find a person to take over for him in the next two years that would spend a final year under him before taking over a vice presidency job. I'm not really looking, but it is nice to know that he thought of me and if things turn sour in this transition period at the NAA, I have options out there.

I also talked to my former boss today (the one who was forced to retire). Good to hear from him and know that he still thought well of me. He's a good mentor and I miss him quite a bit sometimes.

It is difficult to type with all your fingertips on the left hand numb from guitar practice.

Oh yeah....the Asian markets. Still holding up OK, and Pacific and European markets are solid with the credit crunch and rising fuel costs. Tat may slow down China a bit, but we'll see. I'd stick to consumer staples like P&G, look at Oil Refineres and rail transportation in this market.

We should get Cole bloging now that we knwo he has internet and much free tiem out in Kearney. Though I hear rumors or scattered dates.

So Ashley got Mono from our dearest Hayley. I figure it is karma for the flu sickness I passed to Hayley last Christmas that took 7 lbs off of me, and sidelined her for a couple days. It is no secret Hayley and one of my male friends have been in communication for awhile, and I'm staying out of it (though given complete blessing). Though if my pal comes down with Mono, I may have to give Hayley a hard time or perhaps question Ashley's fidelity. :)

Download now: The Wanderer by Marc Broussard and Six Feet Under the Stars by All Time Low. I may have already mentioned Six Feet Under the Stars as a lot of this fall is a blur. If so my apologies, but there is a line about State Street in there that reminds me of Madison.

I got to touch the Stanley Cup. Pictures to soon follow.

Mary, best of luck with the upcoming interviews and travels. When you have a finalist list assembled, I can give you all sorts of info that is not in the brochure on quite a few campuses.

That's all for now. Night all. And happy new year.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas!!!

Hello dear cousins! I hope you are having a lovely Christmas holiday. Today we went into Lincoln to Ashley and Andy's for lunch and presents. Overall, it's been a lovely holiday and an even better break. Mary, where do you travel to next? Lovely Christmas card by the way. Miss you all!

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

my favorite badonk toner

Versa-Loops <--- link

I use the regular ones, currently either 3 blue or 2 black at once. you put them just above your knees, squat down, then take wide side steps across the room and back.

Friday, December 14, 2007

TTF

In just seven hours, I get to leave this soul-sucking place behind and never return. woot, woot! I have big plans, guys. We're going to the Melting Pot tonight and having celebratory cocktails with friends tomorrow night.

When I left my last job, I cried because I was heartbroken to leave my boss and awesome coworkers. This time, I'm avoiding everyone, otherwise I might not be able to temper my urges to unleash a string of profanities and tell off the two people who have made my life (and others' lives) hell for the past 14 months or so.

To quote Mean Girls, they're life ruiners. They ruin lives.

But, I really don't care anymore. I am giddy today. Christmas is just around the corner, and Hayley and my friend Adele are coming home.

(In case you're wondering what my headline means, it's a phrase that Andy and I use whenever we're talking about The Life Ruiners: They're the f*&#ers. heh.)

(Oh, and yesterday was the five-year anniversary of when Andy proposed. awwwwwwwww.)

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Grad school over!

Gave my last presentation tonight, and am finished with my coursework...

Washburn, out!

Beer me.

A few cool tunes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syqjZ4f7YfM (ignore the video, just listen to music)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-67aDeEpRg (I wish my voice sounded like this)

Monday, December 10, 2007

help?

Julie and Hayley, this one's for you. Like everyone else in the U.S., I'm resolving to get into better shape. Last spring I was running like a machine, but life got in the way and I just ... stopped. Now I'm feeling a little soft around the edges. I need recommendations for a workout routine that will:
a) whip me into shape; and
b) slim my legs; and
c) pump up my arms; and
d) give me an ass like Julie's (not to sound gross, but you really do have a nice badonk!); and
e) not be torturous or require too much coordination. I am an Anderson, after all.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Endings always make me sad

I know, it's a miracle. I'm finally blogging again. Sorry it didn't happen sooner, but I just didn't have a whole lot to say. Here goes it!

I have been working my little tushy off all semester, and next week it will all finally come to an end. Unfortunately, this means there are some good things that are coming to an end as well. Once of those occurred today. The way the Doane education plan works, education majors begin helping in classrooms when they are sophomores all the way until they are seniors. This semester, I have spent five hours of my week (on top of a full course schedule, working, and babysitting) in a kindergarten classroom at the elementary school in Crete. Over the semester, I have gotten to know all the little kiddies very well. I have laughed, learned, and received many hugs! Not to mention, I had an awesome teacher to work with. Today was my last day with my little kindergartners. It was a sad day for me, but was made super special when Mrs. Miller asked me to sit in her blue chair. I sat down, and out she came with a card and a present just for me. The card has all the kids' faces made into the shape of a Christmas tree. Inside, all of the kids signed their names. The present was a tote bag with the hand prints of some of the students with their names written next to their hand. It was sooooooo sweet, and made me feel so good about my future career! Afterwards, Mrs. Miller told me how much I will be missed and how much she appreciated all my help. It felt so good to know that I had such an effect on a group of people.

Throughout all of this, I had to make sure I didn't break down and cry. Seriously, it was really tough. I've been kind of emotional lately; I think my hard work is starting to catch up with me. Surprisingly, I'm not overly stressed about finals. Instead, every little thing makes me want to cry. Stupid stuff like TV shows that should have no effect on me make me feel emotional. I finished a book today. It's the last one in the series (it's actually a prequel, but it's the last one), and finishing it was like an end of an era or something and made me feel like crying! I don't get it, but whatever. Soon, I will be at home watching Christmas movies and relaxing like Julie!

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Are you ever scared of finals?

I know I can do it. I can buckle down and study hard and succeed like whoa, but all that intensity is a little... well... intense. I lose my carefree goodness. My focus is almost solely on making the grade. And once you get into that mode, you're there until it's all over. The pressure building up in my head may subside slightly after the completion of one exam, only to build up again once I realize it's time again to assimilate more knowledge. And of course there's always that scare that you study so hard and still don't succeed... and you think maybe it would have been better to not try at all - to not get your hopes up.

Ugh! It isn't finals that's stressful, it's the thought process behind them that sucks.

I have to stop being so weak and just take the headache pressure. I think it's time I vacuum my living room and open up the big study table. In two weeks, I'll be home watching Christmas movies.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Who else is having a procrastination problem?

Bathrooms cleaned? Check.
Two episodes of Veronica Mars watched? Check.
One Nebraska volleyball game watched? Check.
Three hours wasted making a graduation party invite that won't print correctly? Check.
Mucho sleeping in? Check.
Magazines read? Check.
Ripping three CDs to itunes? Check.
Cinnamon rolls baked? Check.
Three games of Scrubs trivia played on Facebook? Check.

Unfortunately, the two things I really need to finish this weekend -- writing a lecture on multimedia journalism and grading assignments -- are still unfinished. oy.

Ooh, and here's a funny video -- it's Sesame Street for grownups. ;)
http://www.break.com/index/count-the-fcc-violations.html

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

WTF?

The bitch, otherwise known as my roommate, asked me to move out today. Shouldn't I be happy? Actually no, because she has proceeded to tell me what is wrong with me and when I tried discussing what she can do to stop making my life a living hell, she informed me that she has no faults. ??????

I'd sure like to know who is responsible for life's lessons because I'd like to slap them right now. Not only has my roommate belittled me and made me feel like I'm 2 feet tall, but I now have no confidence in myself and she makes me want to be a hotdog vender and throw the towel in on my current career path. I'm now everything I never used to be: bitter, emotional, weak, and depressed. I sure hope there's a light at the end of the tunnel.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

The Big Decision

Wisconsinites, I apologize for leaving you hanging for so long. I've known for awhile what would happen, but like Andy said in the comments section, it wasn't official until last week. And while I was dying to spill to you lovely folks, it would be just my luck that a coworker would find some way to get through the firewall and stumble upon my/our secret.

The last couple of weeks have been a complete whirlwind.
Late August: I apply for a job in the university's research office, but I never heard anything. Turns out they put their search on hold for awhile.
Mid-September: A former boss of mine, who happens to be the head of the hiring committee, calls me and tells me that she's glad I applied.
Mid-October: I didn't realize it, but the hiring committee decides to start searching for a writer again.
Tuesday, Oct. 26: I have lunch with this former boss. The lunch turns into a mini-interview/recruiting session. At the end of lunch, I tell her that Andy's a candidate for a job in Wisconsin. By the end of the day, I had an interview lined up.
Wednesday, Nov. 7: Andy goes to Madtown for a two-day interview
Thursday, Nov. 8: Andy gets an offer from the Wisconsin Alumni Association
Friday, Nov. 9, 8 a.m.: I have interview with UNL's Office of Research
Friday, Nov. 9, 4 p.m.: I have an unofficial offer from the research office, pending the results of my background check and a meeting with the vice chancellor, who was in Hawaii.
Saturday, Nov. 10-Sunday, Nov. 11: The Washburns ponder where their lives are going.
Monday, Nov. 12: Andy tells the Nebraska Alumni Association that he has an offer from Wisconsin.
Tuesday, Nov. 13: The NAA offers Andy more money and more responsibilities if he stays. He accepts that offer. Then I accept my unofficial offer. Andy turns down Wisconsin.
Wednesday, Nov. 14-Sunday, Nov. 18-Agony! I can't tell anyone my good news, for fear that word would get around campus before I officially signed an offer letter.
Monday, Nov. 19-Meeting with the vice chancellor. He likes me. I sign the offer letter immediately. My bosses-to-be are sworn to secrecy that I signed the letter. For various reasons, I decided to wait until after Thanksgiving to resign from my current job.

23 hours later-A busybody secretary blows my cover. I talked to the secretary to set up a meeting with my boss for Nov. 29 or Nov. 30. She's too busy to meet, I'm told. What was this regarding? I try to sidestep the question, but after much pestering by Nosy Secretary, I cave and say it's confidential. Nosy Secretary immediately calls my boss, who calls me three minutes later. She asks what the meeting is about. I dance around the question again, saying it could really wait until next week, that I don't want to interrupt her vacation, blah, blah, blah. She asks me if I'm quitting. I respond that yes, yes I am.

Apparently "confidential meeting" has become code for "I'm quitting." You see, we've had a ridiculous amount of turnover in our office during the past 18 months. Why? There's really only two reasons why that many people leave an organization so quickly: threats of layoffs or an unhealthy environment. You can probably guess which reason applies to my situation.

I am very, very excited to start my new job. I am blown away by how NICE everybody is, regardless of their ranking in the food chain. It's known as one of the best places to work on campus, so I really lucked out. I was ready to leave my current job at the end of the semester even if it meant folding onesies at Baby Gap to pay for groceries. That's how much I dread going into work every day.

Now, to address the bigger question -- Why did we choose Nebraska over Wisconsin? A month ago, I was ready to pack our bags and come to Madtown. I was definitely daydreaming about what life would be like there. I really wanted to leave Lincoln behind and wipe the slate clean.

As things progressed on the job front, I stopped thinking about Madison as much. I never had a moment where reality set in and I said, "I can't move away!" I guess when it comes down to it, I realized that I wanted to improve my life here. The first and foremost thing was quitting my job and finding a new one. Now that I've changed that, I'm ready to start figuring out my priorities and planning my life accordingly.

For several years now, I've been doing a lot of things out of a sense of obligation rather than because I really want to. Now, there are some realities that can't be ignored -- I have to work, I have to pay bills, I have to cook, I have to get groceries, etc. However, I've wasted a lot of precious free time -- my time -- doing things I don't care about because it seems like "the right thing to do." Bah. My friends in their '30s tell me that around the magic age of 28-30, you start realizing that you have to start living life according to your wishes, not everyone else's. Message received. To quote Carrie Bradshaw, I'm ready to stop should-ing all over myself.

I'm making some progress. I'm not spending much time with friends that bring more stress than joy to my life. I've also quit a volunteer group that drained my energy rather than rejuvenated me. I decided to give myself a break and not teach or take classes next semester.

It's not just about cutting stuff out, though. I've become closer to people who I once considered fringe friends. And one of my top priorities for 2007 is finding a hobby or two that I can really be passionate about and use as my escape from everyday life. Because Andy's graduating and I won't be in school, I'm hoping we'll have more quality time together.

There you have it. I know I've written a novel, and if you've made it this far -- bless you. The last few months have been a major roller-coaster ride, but I'm super-excited about where everything is heading. I'm feeling very happy and optimistic these days.

Friday, November 23, 2007

need input

andy and ashley, i know you're job searching and such but i haven't heard any REAL updates lately. where are you looking? what positions are you considering? i absolutely WON'T be mad if you want to stay in lincoln, i'd just like to hear about some specifics. everyone here in wisconsin is pretty curious what's going on. why so mysterious?

hope everyone had a fantastic thanksgiving! i recommend going to see August Rush.

Monday, November 19, 2007

bogus bachelor

did any of you watch the season finale of the bachelor just now? ...pretty sure it ruins my thoughts on love and relationships. they only knew each other for less than 2 months. how could he possibly go from wanting both of them to giving up on both? he didn't have to propose. and let's be honest - he couldn't have gotten to know their true selves enough in that context. but to quit? weak. and i feel like i wasted my life the past several weeks watching that. he deserves to be alone.

Monday, November 12, 2007

I'm Proud of My Siblings

You all pretty much kick ass.

I'll let each of you share the details, but Ash is having a great week, Hayley rocked a few exams, Cole rocked something for golder harvest and Lindzo did some good stuff in school.

Brag.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

OK, Mad-town folk

Looks like I have a full day tomorrow. I leave my door at 4 am to drive to Omaha and hop on a plane. In Madison at 11 am, and from there, I'm meeting with folks all day until 4:30. Then I have a break until 6 and have dinner with some university VP. I am guessing that will be over at 7:30 or so, so any time after that. Though I have to be honest, after that day, I'm not ging to be able to take a long visit, but I still want to catch up with you all nonetheless. I want to hear soem Paul-itical opinions, see how Mary's quest for the location of Season 1 of scrubs is progressing, and head about Julie's wild adventures on State Street hanging out with a bunch of 30+ old guys earlier this fall.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

November Blues

The past two weeks, and the week to come, have been probably the most draining weeks of my life. I've had four tests and one project, and one intense paper due within this time period. Being the good student that I am, I've been trying to work ahead as much as possible, but this isn't working anymore.

Currently, I live in the library in the old hospital in Scottsbluff. I must describe the library for you in order for you to understand how hard it is for me to be here for eight hours a day. The old hospital is a place for family members to stay while their loved ones are at the new hospital down the road. It looks like a mental asylum and I think it's haunted. There are cute little old ladies that have to give me the key to the library (because it is constantly on lockdown-newsflash: ghosts can still get in!) I can tell when one of the library ladies is lurking nearby because they have a cloud of musty perfume that radiates 10 feet around them. The actual library is in the old chapel, so I not only get to study and be quiet, but I can go up to the alter and ask God again what the heck I'm doing with my life.

Part of the reason I've been cooped up in the library is for reasons other than homework. My current roommate hates me. Before she would fake nice behaviors and talk mean behind my back. This was fun and all, but she's now decided to ignore me and pretend that I don't exist. My cute little green house has now turned into a box of hate and hostility. This isn't great for studying....or sleeping for that matter. I'd sleep overnight in the library, but I'm not sure if the library lady will let me borrow her kitchen utensils.

My next problem is my test taking skills, or lack thereof. I have always had a hard time with tests. But, the experience I had this week takes the cake. I studied super hard for my Nursing Assessment and Promotion test. I made flashcards from my notes, the book, I read all the chapters in the book, and I made notes from my notes. Needless to say, I was prepared. The test was moderately challenging, but here's where I went wrong. While rechecking my answers I did what no student should ever do....I CHANGED A BUNCH OF ANSWERS! How stupid could I be? I mean, would I really be smarter 40 questions later...no! This resulted in me failing, bawling, swearing I will be a t-shirt vender in NY, and be the black sheep of the Anderson family. I've calmed down a bit, but my test anxiety has mulitplied 10 times.

I finally have broke down and will be using money I don't have to get a massage this week. My muscles have become so tight because of my stress, lack of sleep, and fear of being stabbed in my sleep, that I decided I better get all the toxins rubbed out. I also get to go home this coming weekend and I'm SUPER pumped. I hope you all have a great week!

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Facebook woes

I've been punished for Facebook stalking.

Sometimes I hate that it's this stupid maze that reminds you that you're still connected to people you haven't thought about in 10 years.

My News Feed announced today that my high school friend Ryan added pictures. Curious, I clicked on Ryan's profile. Then I saw his cousin Jill, one of our classmates, had written on his wall. Even though I've thought of Jill probably three times since graduation, my curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on her profile. Then I got even more curious and clicked on her Centennial High School '98 link. Lo and behold, Jill's twin, Michelle, Jeremy, Shauna, Kiley, Carolyn, Kirk and a bunch of other random folks are Jill's "friends."

My reaction? THOSE BASTARDS! Surely they can see I'm on Facebook, why didn't they add ME? I WENT TO SCHOOL WITH YOU, TOO, YOU KNOW! I know, I know. I am being ridiculous. I didn't even like those people, but seeing that my classmates are friends with each other but not with me stirs up all those stupid feelings of not fitting in with them and every single goddamnthingifuckinghatedaboutthatplace. It's junk I haven't thought about in ages.

I could add them as friends, but why? To pad my friends list? I hadn't thought of them until now, and I'm sure they've forgotten me. I don't want their friendship, so why give them a glimpse into what my life is like now? (Thank you, privacy settings.) I don't know how you young'uns handle the Facebook thing. Do you find that it makes it impossible to untangle yourself from parts of the past you'd rather forget?

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Hey MADISON BRANCH

I'll be back in MAD-TOWN next week! For one night only.

Are any or all of you available next Wednesday night?

Monday, October 22, 2007

wHOA

i was just perusing wedding pics, and i now want a FULL FLEDGE family reunion. i feel like i've missed out on knowing so many wonderful people in our family. the indiana boys looks a little mischievous and OH if we could get them together with paul... and you ladies SERIOUSLY looked fabulous. if only school wouldn't have gotten in the way.

somebody else needs to get married!!! know of any soon-to-be engaged (besides me, of course)?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Musings

So I left a nice comment in Hayley's post. Read it. Good info in there.

Anyway, I would dlove to post more, but school's a drag and work is crazy.

My only other comment is that you need to listen to "Six Feet Under The Stars" by All Time Low. Nice little punk tune htat I think you'll dig. Especialyl the chorus of "Meet me on State Street." That's why I thought of you all. I think you can hear it here: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=1259129

But, being the cool kids you are, I'm sure you've already heard it.

I am old.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Update to My Life

Hello family! I am finding that being in a specialized school really brings a new meaning to "being busy." I just completed my first round of tests only to get a lecture from my professor saying, "You guys won't be as smart here. You'll just learn to accept the fact that you will get worse grades." Thank you? Oh well, I can't let the haters get me down. I just need to learn better study methods.

Finally three months into school I went out on the town. It was quite an experience. The guys out here are on a whole other level. So here's the scenerio. Three classmates and I went to a bar called Gilli's last Thursday. The crowd was split between guys my age and guys my dads age. The minute I sat down to order a drink the waitress told me that the guy behind it bought it for me. While I'm not one to turn down a free drink, I had a wave of uncertainty wash over me. I could only imagine the guy who bought it. Not to my surprise, the "gentleman" was wearing a camoflage jacket and had a wad of chew in his lip. Then then attempted to smile at me without losing his chew. The ending result: a smirk that was all too ironic.

Next, the old men behind us suggested we get them a song on the jukebox because apparently these people don't appreciate some Christina, Britney, Nelly Furtado, and Justin Timberlake. I don't understand. So we picked their song which was (again not surprising) Hank Someone and Johnny Carson. Yikes! It only got better. After playing their favorite song they motioned me over. I figured my dad's friends are harmless so how bad could these guys be? Well, they asked where I was from. This is a question I have learned to loathe over the years for obvious reasons. I replied, "Beaver Crossing (in a rush), but its close to Lincoln." This second part is added because most people have no idea where Beaver is; imagine that. The dirty old man across from me then said, "I'm from Penisville, Pennsylvania." !!!!!!!!!! WTF? That is disgusting.

After that conversation I ran back to my table and told my classmates that if they knew what was good for them, they would refuse to talk to them. I then hear a whistle from somewhere behind me. This was followed by a, "Hey you!" I turned around because I was curious who was being hollared at. Big surprise, that person was me. I call whistled at TWICE like a dog. I said, "What do you want?"
Nasty Boy: "I want to talk to you."
Me: "Okay, come over here."
NB: "NO, I'm shy."
Me: "Um, yeah, I don't think so. You just whistled at me like I was a dog, so if you are going to be a whoose about it, then don't talk to me."
NB: (taken aback by my forward letdown) "Oh, okay, yeah, hold on." (turns around to consult equally ignorant buddies, gets the nod to go get that, and walks over.)

I shouldn't say this for fear of making it come true, but I doubt my husband will be met here. I'm not generalizing, these guys just really suck or have children already. Moral of the story: Mom and dad, don't worry about me being distracted by boys out here.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Friday, October 05, 2007

Well, hello again.

Sorry about my Cousin Central hiatus. I've been too busy/lazy/boring to write anything worth mentioning. A few random notes on a Friday evening:

Teaching is going well for the most part, aside from my students' lack of interest in commas and verb tenses. The question of whether to use who or whom also poses problems for many. It's a much more diverse group (skills-wise) than I anticipated. About 1/4 of the students have journalism experience already and clearly have a natural aptitude for writing and editing. My job is to help them refine their skills. About 1/2 are newbies who don't have much base knowledge beyond what they learned in high school. That's the most "coachable" group. The other 1/4 are students that make me want to ask, "Are you SURE journalism is the right field for you? What, exactly, makes you think this profession would be a good fit for you?!" I'm glad I'm doing this; I feel like it's been good for me, and I can tell the students have learned at least a LITTLE something. ;) I tell you what, though -- teaching is time-consuming as all get-out. A two-hour lecture takes at least twice as long to actually prepare for and create. Then there's grading and creating the weekly assignments and quizzes (harder than one might think).

I've started looking forward to Wednesday nights. Sunday, Monday and Tuesday evenings are spent exclusively preparing lectures for the week. On Wednesday, I can watch America's Next Top Model, grade a few papers and do a little bit of cleaning.

Superstar Andy has set up video conferencing capabilities for Hayley and me, so we're going to start doing that. We experimented with it tonight and have it working perfectly. Web cams are pretty cheap. Who wants to join us?

As I've alluded to before, 2007 has been an interesting year for me, job-wise. Now that things are finally calming down for me, Andy is dealing with a shitstorm at his workplace that looks like it'll last awhile. For the first time in a long time, though, I'm not panicking. I sense that our lives could switch directions soon, and that's kind of exciting.

What else is new? Hmm. Well, my friend Ellie and I went to the apple orchard/pumpkin patch last weekend and stocked up on caramel apples and cider. I also bought a Blue Moon pumpkin, which is a greenish-grayish-blue color. Very cool. Oh, and it's been 80+ degrees here all week. I shouldn't complain because the weather is lovely, but dangit, I want to wear my new fall clothes!

Saturday, September 29, 2007

when you thought you've seen it all,....

I heard a yell out one of the windows on the third floor across the way from me in the apartment. he was telling some girls on the first floor to be quiet... he was trying to drink up there. then they proceeded to introduce themselves, both first and last names and spellings, and planned to meet up after they've had a bit more to drink.

special people live here, indeed.

in fact, i called in my first noise complaint last night. someone had already called it in, but still... i mean, i went down there and tried to find the person who lived in the apartment but there was just too many people and i could only get the attention of the dozen or so people who were yelling at each other in the hallway. oh, how i love campus living arrangements.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Mad-town, here I come......

Ok medical type ladies and Paul.....

I'm hitting town late Thursday night and am going to be with 7 other guys. We have 2 tickets in hand and are still looking for 6 more, but I think most of the guys are going to take their chances scalping now that Iowa lost.

Anyway, most of these guys are pretty rowdy so I'm not sure what I'll have for free time (I'm going to babysitting a bit) but any recommendations for a bunch of hungry guys that want to experience "college culture." But....we are not dancers and we don't want to stick out too much. We're 27-31 in age. We are not looking to pick up ladies, we are looking to experience Madison, and sit around over a couple rounds of drinks and just hang out.

Thoughts?

Sunday, September 09, 2007

blog slacker

It's not that I haven't been doing anything with my life lately to talk about, I just haven't been in the blog spirit lately. Classes started a week ago and so far it's not bad. My load of pharmacy goodness isn't as intense as last year. Plus twice a week I have a one credit tennis class. And Sunday afternoons I have swim lessons (my new suit is cute). Then there's yoga twice a week. And ballet probably once a week. Swing dance lessons fell through because my exam schedule messes it up. On top of all this, sailing and especially windsurfing has been fabulous lately. I'm starting to feel pretty darn confident on that sailboard.

My apartment is very messy right now as well. The family went to the Dells this past weekend for Mary's medical conference thing and I still haven't unpacked yet (got back at 8am). Paul and I had a super time on the raft rides and wave pool, though. And my father's new hobby of penny smooshing flourished. A weekend away really revitalizes you! I mean, aside from all the junk food I ate during those two days which left me feeling a little less perky than usual, I left refreshed.

So that's my story, really. One more thing - I went through an entire black ink cartridge this past week. It may be an expensive printful semester.

Have a lovely week, family.

p.s. Andy, were you able to find tickets ok? Sorry I can't be more help.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Back to School

Well, I survived my first day teaching! I didn't say anything too moronic, and I didn't trip over my feet in front of everyone--now that's success! Which will I like better--being a student, or being a teacher? Time will tell, I suppose. I'm just excited to have an excuse to buy school supplies again. The Back-to-School section gets me positively giddy.

Hayley, how is your first day going? Lindsey, are you moved in yet? Wisconsinites, when do you start school?

Saturday, August 18, 2007

The Big Move

Yesterday my parents and Lindsey helped me move all my stuff out of my apartment and into my new house in Scottsbluff. It was surprisingly a good drive out (only five and a half hours away from home). Anyway by this morning I have all of my things in order and the house is absolutely adorable. I'll put pictures on the blog after I get a digital camera this week!

I'm staying here in Scottsbluff until Sunday and then I'm driving home to spend about four more days at home. After that I'm here for good. This is all very exciting and scary all at the same time. I love feeling independent and trying new things, and I'm getting excited for school to start! But, the bad part about the move is loneliness. Yesterday I was doing great while mom and dad were here and I wasn't on the verge of tears or anything. I then called Schnookie and all was well there too. All evening my new roommate and I bonded and watched a movie together. Everything seemed fine and I was shocked, but glad. Until I went to bed. It then caught up with me that I'm really moving away from my parents, I don't know anyone here but my roommate (and I hate having to tag along all the time with her), I don't know how to navigate around Scottsbluff, and even though my phone and e-mail have kept me up to date, not seeing my family and friends is very hard.

I'm confident that things will get better, but for now I'm still adjusting.

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Snaps to Mary for correctly identifying Sting and The Police as the artists who performed the '80s hit "Message in a Bottle."

Life has taken an unexpected, yet happy, turn in the past five days. I'm going to be a teacher--yes, you read that correctly--this fall. One of my former professors called me in a panic last Thursday because the instructor who was supposed to teach an intro course in editing backed out at the last minute. My first instinct was to say no (what do I know about teaching?), but everything lined up so perfectly that I interpreted my good luck as a sign. My boss was supportive, and woman who hired me said I could still take the vacation I had scheduled the week of Labor Day. I'm dropping my fall grad class--I think working 40+ hours a week plus teaching is enough to keep me busy.

In light of this, I'm tempted to write a new feature for the blog: The Grammar Goddess's Tip of the Week. Thoughts?

My birthday is on a Friday this year. That rules.

I'm reviewing resumes for a position that's open here. Somebody (the nephew of a professor) used smiley face and alien icons for bullet points. WTF? Are you 12?

Here's a helpful fashion tip for the ladies: DO NOT WEAR HIGH-HEELED SANDALS WITH PANTS. It looks adorable, but is very dangerous! Yesterday my pant leg got caught between my shoe and my foot, causing me to lose my balance and fall rather ungracefully to the cement floor. The adorable grad assistant who was walking behind me was convinced that I'd hurt myself very badly and needed to go to the health center. I didn't; I just muttered something about being embarrassed. The knee of my pants is scuffed and some of my nail polish rubbed off. :( (There was still a Barbie-pink streak on the floor this morning. heh.)

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

I'll send an S.O.S to the world

Ladies and gentlemen, I am in trouble. I have writer's burnout. When 60% of your job relies on your ability to write coherently, that's a huge problem.

I've been Googling solutions to my problem. Surprisingly, most "experts" say to write more--but for yourself, not for your job. Are you effing kidding me? Writing is the last thing I feel like doing in my free time. I haven't even sent thank you notes for our lovely anniversary gifts.

This is a very miserable time in my career, for many reasons that I won't go into just in case somebody outside the Anderson world accidentally stumbles upon this. And now I'm losing the ability to do the one thing I've always been good at. :(

*ten points to the person who can name the song and artist from which my headline originated*

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Grrr!

I have had a slightly lame love life since...well pretty much forever. Other than the random guy that comes along that thinks he has a chance (I don't say this to be mean, but the maturity thing is just never there). Now I have a bigger dilemma. Here are the types of guys that have decided to fall under my spell:
  • Chase- Chase was my friend that was going to school to become a Catholic priest. He went from safe and comfortable to single in about 2.2. This has left me pissed off because I no longer have a safe best friend that is male. He decided that he likes me instead which throws off our whole relationship.
  • Troy- One of my brother's friends. After much debate Troy decided that he'll stop being friends with my brother in order to date me. (I tried the whole "I can't date my brother's friends, it just gets messy" routine. Wow, what a sacrifice.)
  • Carson- Guy I work with that just graduated high school. Fun kid, but much too young. I told him that I'm tired of my guy friends falling for me, so now instead of saying he loves me, he says he hates me. I took Psychology 101, and I understand reverse psychology when I see it.
Maybe my move will help get me away from man-drama. LOL Wishful thinking I'm sure.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

quick update

i'm pretty sure i have an andy trying to pursue me. he kind of lacks maturity, but it's fun for now.

oh shoot - i'm supposed to be showering now so i can get groceries with mary at noon. more info later!

Friday, July 13, 2007

Just call me old skool

I have a love-hate relationship with technology. It’s mostly love, but sometimes I feel exhausted by the sheer amount of information I’m exposed to everyday. Since I’m in the communications field, I’m expected to know the ins and outs of the latest web use stats and YouTube videos and iWant gadgets and Facebook applications (which have seemed to multiply 1,000-fold in the last six weeks. Don’t be surprised if Yahoo or Google buys Facebook soon.)

I can’t keep up with the sheer amount of information out there. Some days I want to pull the trigger and delete my Facebook page, or at least pare down my profile information. Who the hell cares that I like Van Wilder and listen to Cake? Yet I posted like 50 photos this week … this is the love/hate/fascination/annoyance of social networking junk. Ironic, isn’t it, that I’m posting this on a blog. :)

I have to draw the line somewhere, though.

1) I don’t use the camera on my cell phone. I’m a high-res photo snob; I see no point in taking pictures that are useless because they’re grainy and poorly lit.
2) I still use a day planner made from (gasp!) paper. I’ve experimented with Google calendar, Yahoo! calendar, iCal, and the Blackberry that Andy stopped using three years ago. They do nothing for me. I get a great amount of pleasure from doodling, highlighting, and firmly pressing a black line through the finished items on my to-do list.
3) I don’t browse YouTube. I go there only when someone points out something interesting to watch.
4) I had a MySpace profile for about three weeks. I have no desire to re-join.
5) I have an e-mail Sabbath, usually on Saturday.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I like this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK6X78SFi30 The clip starts getting exciting at 1:15

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Words I never thought I'd hear

Cole was shopping for furniture at Slumberland last night. Mom apparently wasn't answering her phone, so he called me to get a second opinion.

"Ashley, what do you think of a tobacco-colored couch? It has kind of a tumbled leather look."

Tobacco-colored? Tumbled leather? If he'd described it as a brown leather couch, I wouldn't have batted an eye. But Farmer Cole, talking like an HGTV host? That was unexpected. ;)

Thirty minutes later, he called again.
"What do you know about vacuum cleaners?"
"Get one that sucks!" Andy said, helpfully.
"I like Bissells and Hoovers," I said.
"Do you think I need a HEPA filter?"

What the deuce happened to my little brother?

Sunday, June 24, 2007

when you visit...

I have a little favor to ask. Give my swimming "skills" confidence? Lately I've been wishing I had learned to become a better swimmer when I was young, because running can be a bit abusive on my knees. Since starting college I've had a couple friends teach me the basics, but I'm not comfortable enough to be able to go to the gym and do laps for a workout. And the flip turn propels water up my nose... I'd rather avoid that. The gym that's a 10 minute walk from the apartment has a pool that's open for a couple blocks of time every day - SO if there would be time, I would pay for the guest pass to get you in (it's cheap anyway) and then I would end up with a lower-impact workout.

And you're entirely allowed to tell me my idea sounds silly and I won't get discouraged.

p.s. We're going to have such a GREAT TIME when you come!! I absolutely love Madison in the summer. And there are concerts on the union terrace by the lake Thursday through Sunday... we'll definitely have to take one in. And just to be able to catch up on life and stories will be wonderful. I openly admit - I'm religiously counting down the days!

Friday, June 15, 2007

A tentative plan

We are soooooooooo friggin' excited about our upcoming trip to Madtown. I've been doing some research on Google Maps, Yahoo Maps, and Mapquest, and it looks like we'll spend about 7 hours, 45 minutes driving--less than I thought, which is good. Nevertheless, we want to make sure we maximize our time in Madison, so we're thinking of leaving Thursday night after work, spending the night near Des Moines, and driving Friday morning so we can arrive on your doorstep sometime in the early afternoon. Andy's class schedule and Hayley/Lindsey's work schedules are still somewhat up in the air, but this is the best-case scenario. If we can't leave Thursday p.m., we'll leave very early Friday morn.

Thoughts? Is this compatible with your schedules?

I don't want to assume too much, but we're bunking with you lovely folks, right? Should we bring sleeping bags and pillows and whatnot? (If you don't have room, that's cool ... we can stay somewhere close.)

Paul, are you living in Madison or at home this summer? It was a topic of debate at Pizza Hut on Sunday afternoon. :)

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Mary, you'll appreciate this.

Not that you have much free time, but if you're ever feeling bored and want to reminisce about childhood, check out http://claudiasroom.blogspot.com/

IT'S A BLOG ABOUT THE BABYSITTERS CLUB! Basically, a 20-something has re-read all the BSC books and writes hilarious snarky commentary about the characters and storylines. It's amazing to look at the zany BSC from an adult perspective. I remember thinking those girls were so cool, so sophisticated, so lucky ... only now do I realize how weird they were (in an awesome way, of course).

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Sandals?

Julie, have you tried Chaco sandals for sailing? I can't attest to their buoyancy, but all my outdoor adventurer friends swear by them. They have the American Podiatric Medical Association seal of approval too, for whatever that's worth.

Monday, May 21, 2007

A relationship on the rocks


Dear Beloved Teva Flip-Flops,
We’ve been together for one year now. Last summer, we spent many days together running around town doing errands, at the lake, and just chilling out. I thought you were The One. As far as sport flips go, you’re pretty cute. You were comfortable to walk in, and I didn’t have to curl my toes into unnatural positions to keep you from falling off my feet.

Summer is coming again, and naturally, I thought our relationship would continue. But we had a rough day together Saturday, bad enough that I’m questioning whether we have a future together. We hooked up at 9 a.m. for 10 hours of walking through the Farmer’s Market, Valentino’s and the Parade of Homes. At one point, I bragged to my mom about how wonderful you were and how lucky I was to have found you.

But when I got out of bed Sunday morning, I could barely walk. A cramping, throbbing pain shot through the outer edge of my left foot, and I spent the entire day gasping owowowowowow every time I walked up and down a staircase. A co-worker asked me this morning why I’m limping. I made up some excuse about exercise because I was too ashamed to tell her that I injured myself hanging out with you.

I'm ticked off and confused, Teva. Are you mad at me because I occasionally have flings with another pair of flip flops? (I've been with them longer, but they don’t make me feel the way you do, I swear.) Perhaps it’s asking a bit much to expect a half-inch piece of foam to adequately protect my feet from the elements, but I thought if anyone could do it, you could.

The future of our relationship isn't looking good, Teva. The way I look at it, these are our options:
  • Our dates will be brief—no longer than four hours—and I will wear sensible shoes for longer outings.
  • I accept that our relationship has run its course and I dump you for your younger, better-cushioned brother.
  • I accept that my days of wearing flip flops are over, and I settle for something more reliable, like Birkenstocks.
What will it be, Teva?

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

This is the drivel I write when my brain needs a break


I was going to write this long, really heartfelt blog about everyone who helped me through an amazingly shitty month at work. A few amazing things happened yesterday that have given me hope about my situation. However, I am so sick and tired of thinking and obsessing about it that I’ve decided not to blog about it, at least not now. I’m going to write pure fluff instead.

Girls, if you’re looking for the perfect pink nail polish for summer, you must get Strawberry Margarita by OPI. This picture doesn’t quite do it justice, but trust me, it’s both fun and beautiful. I’ve never gotten so many compliments on my polish before.

Our refrigerator/freezer is broken. Andy discovered the problem when he pulled a liquefied Jell-O pudding pop out of the freezer. I took the cold stuff over to Grandpa’s house, but we still had to throw away about $50 of food. Truth be told, some of that stuff probably needed to go anyway. Who needs a 2-year-old package of frozen cubed ham? And why did I buy processed cubed ham in the first place?! Ick.

I’ve been growing out my hair for 10 months. The longest layer is a little more than halfway between my chin and my shoulders. I’m way excited to have a ponytail for the first time since 10th grade. (It’s a really short pony and I have to bobby pin the bangs, but still!) The biggest drawback so far is having split ends, which are inevitable when you’ve been trimming only 1/4 - 1/2” every two months or so. The other drawback is that I still have some short layers that force the bottom layer to flip up, which means my hair is a shaggy mess when it's unstyled. I sort of want to cut off the long stuff so everything is one length and easier to manage, but that would be erasing like 4 months of work!

Hayley has promised to give me a long hair tutorial. I’m clueless.

Wednesday, May 09, 2007


I'm going to allow Mary to explain why I received this envelope today in such a state. And yes, it looks like it was bitten in person, too.

Whee....

So I reset my password on google so that I could rejoin the log. It still doesn't like me and allow me to log in from my Mac. Wierd stuff.

Unfortunately, most of my random witty comments from the semester have gone un-blogged. Bummer. That said, I'm back and ready to rumble. That is, as soon as something blogworthy happens.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

you know finals are coming when...

Laundry is caught up. I watched an infomercial today (hip hop abs... actually looks good). I'm sorting through songs to make a playlist of beats that inspire me to get up and dance. Email is being sufficiently checked. I don't believe it's almost 6pm, despite my doing less than 2 hours of homework so far today. Desktop weather is checked a lot, so I can keep track of wind speeds (even though I'm not going outside at all). I'm continually making new deadlines for myself: I will be done with the lipids lecture by 7:30. There. Then I'll have yet another solo dance party.

Just call me Master Procrastinator.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Where are you?

Wisconsin clan- - where have you been? Do you have finals coming up? UNL's are this week, so after that I have about a week off until I have to start another job.

Good luck with school kids :)

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Don't spoil the fun with technology

Our friend Dara is pregnant. She and her husband, Joe, will welcome their first child just in time for their third wedding anniversary in December.

I am upset about this, but not for the reasons that probably come to mind.

I found out from a mutual friend (Erin) whose husband (Chris) found some comments on Joe's Myspace page that alluded to Dara's pregnancy. So Chris text-messaged Joe (great, an even less personal way to communicate) to confirm whether it was true, and Joe replied yes. Then Erin called me at work to break the news.

I think we can agree that huge announcements like engagements and pregnancies should not be made on Facebook or Myspace. If Joe and Dara were casual friends, it wouldn't be a huge deal. But we're close friends--Andy and I were in their wedding party--so finding out this way was really disappointing. It's hard to feel the joy and emotion that typically accompanies such an announcement when you're on the phone with a different friend going, "Why did we find out this way?"

Interestingly, the couple isn't to blame. Apparently Joe and Dara told their parents and siblings first. Totally understandable. Then, the siblings spoiled the surprise by posting comments on Joe's Myspace page about being excited for the baaaaabyyyy. Andy suspects that Joe and Dara were planning to tell everyone when they visit Nebraska in a few weeks, but surprise! There is no surprise! Knowing Dara, she is going to be livid. I would be, too.

Consider this a warning: When it's baby time, Andy and I probably will tell family (a.k.a., you guys) first. And if one of you ever pulls a stunt like this, my fat pregnant ass will be kicking yours.

That's all.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Cool website for unique t-shirts


www.threadless.com

Everything is designed by regular folks. You can submit designs and vote on others. The winners are eventually made into tees and hoodies. As a bonus, everything is printed on American Apparel t-shirts, which are supposed to be soft and of excellent quality. I'm thinking about getting this one. Even though I'm not an artiste, I do love markers ...





Monday, April 16, 2007

Blacktop Mourning

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=12982986

Check them out on myspace. Kind of punky, kind of mello at the same time -- a lot like The Fray.

Back up vocals and producer is a guy by the name of Adam Duritz, one of my favorite singer/performerr/songwriters.

Enjoy -- back to school now. ;(

aw

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Gus

My dog Gus died. He was an old beagle. He died while he was sleeping on the grass, which is the way he would have wanted to go. I think my mom needs a new puppy to keep her company while she does her gardening but she won't admit it.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I threatened to post this months ago

poof! it's gone.

New Week, New Beginnings!

After beginning my week terribly stressed, I have transformed my attitude into more positive and upbeat. Here's why:
  • I got a new car! My other car was starting to see better days and with more than 166,000 miles on it, the age was beginning to show through. Even though I was very sad to abandon my first car, my new one has so many new whistles and buttons that I don't know which one to play with first. Thanks to my dad, I was able to score a light silver 2001 Impala that is more sporty instead of looking like a Buick. It has a sunroof, CD/cassette player, and a very spacious trunk and back seat perfect for my 300+ mile drives out to Scottsbluff for school next year.
  • I quit my job! That's right. After working 10 months for Madonna Therapy Plus I am turning in my name tag. There are lots of reasons for me quitting, but here are the most important ones. I'm working again at the Beaver pool this summer so that I have flexible hours and can work with my Pookie (Lindsey)! Also, mom and dad are doing their "We want you around as much as we can, while we can" thing. Loving, but difficult at times. The other reason is that my boss is a turd sandwich and once he made a comment involving the dress code and my chest, I decided that was the last straw. I'm a new woman! My last day is April 24. I think I'll throw myself a huge party.
  • I went to the Bricktop. Okay I know this comment has made lots of jaws drop, but for those who don't know what the Bricktop is, it is a club/bar in Lincoln that features 80's night on Sunday nights. This sounds all fine and dandy, but the place is crawling with weirdos that believe that deodrant and razors are overated. Not only that, but anything goes there. So you can find some pretty interesting kids there. The reason I went there on Sunday night was for my best friend's 21st b-day. I mean she was drunk, so she thought I'd be a great idea. It turned out to be quite a good time. I'll never go back there if I can help it, but I have recently downloaded some classic 80's tunes by none other than Paula Abdul, Madonna, and Tiffany.
All in all, my stressful week is starting to look much better. And to relieve all the tension I've been feeling, I'm splurging and getting a 45 minute back massage tomorrow. I can't wait! :)

Monday, April 09, 2007

Wisconsin Invasion

In case it wasn't clear from Andy's last post, the Nebraskans are planning to come to Madison the weekend of July 7. If Andy can get out of class, he'll come with us. If not, it'll be a girls' trip. It would be oh-so-sad if we FINALLY made the trip but couldn't see Mary.

How was everyone's Easter?

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sunday Musings

So, I finally remembered my new google login and password. Sorry for the long absence. So some of these are stored up for awhile.

  • If you want real entertainment, take some glad "press-n-seal" and stick it to a back of a cat. See, the cat was mooching for food and smelling at it, so I let him have it. If I can figure out how to post video, I will. Good good stuff -- I laughed anyway while Ashley certainly questioned my eventual capacity as a potential father.
  • I regestered on Monday for my last semester of grad school next fall. Then it is on to learning guitar and getting ordained.
  • So, it looks like everybody's schedule opens up this July except for me. Don't postpone this thing on my account. If I can talk to my professor and get out of class, I'll go -- if not, you kids have a riot.
  • Ok nurses, pharmacists and doctor types -- I have exema on my neck. had it my whole life. Well today, I et a haircut, and the gal just totally scrapes the hell out of it (she was asian and barely spoke English, so at least I didn't have to deal with the mindless banter of a cosmotologist) but it hurts like hell. Other than lotion, is there anything I can really do to cure this patch of dry skin?
  • If you have ever heard of teh expression "work your fingers to the bones," I now knwo what that means. In ripping out carpet, installing flooring, installign trim and movign furniture, I have myself blisters onteh tips of three of my fingers. I know, it hurts to type. And the rest of my fingers are peeling like they have been sunburned. But I have to say, I hop emy bride is happy, because the house does look pretty darn good. Maybe she'll post before and after pictures at some point.

That's it for now, but it is good to be back in the blog-o-sphere.

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

darn, darn,

darn. we suck. Turns out July 6-8 may be a gamble for us because Andy is taking a summer class so he can graduate in December. However, his last day of class is July 12, so we could come the weekend of July 13-15 without running into finals and whatnot.

I can't believe I forgot about this. :(